Wednesday, June 18, 2014
If you are pregnant don’t drink….If you drink, don’t get pregnant.
Friday, May 16, 2014
Tough Kids Wear Pink
Thursday, April 3, 2014
The Roller-Coaster Ride Called Foster Care
Photo: HeraldSun.com.au |
Today is one of those days! Really. We had Pooh here a couple weekends ago for an over-nighter...and IT. Was. Awesome. Seriously. These kids are better behaved when the baby (toddler) is here. I am shocked every time. And that Sunday morning...all three boys "snuck" down around 7:30am! I usually have to 'make' the two oldest stay in bed until 7 on the weekends!! OH, GLORY!!!!!
This past weekend, we actually had Pooh Friday- Sunday. And it was beyond fabulous. The kids love each other and life couldn't have been better...well except if he had already moved in with us!!
Today, the high came crashing down. Apparently, the agency is requesting the state split these siblings....because "they have already been separated for an extended amount of time." WHAT?? Really? So because they have lived apart for the last 23 months, someone has decided these kids can handle the lifetime of loss and trauma. OH MY!
Research clearly shows that these children do much better when they are placed together as a sibling group. It is hard to find families that are willing to adopt 3, or 4 or 5....or more...children together. I have stated for the past year (After the Guardian Ad Litem asked me if I would consider adopting all four IF it came to that point....) that I would adopt all four children....and I have been asking for this boy to move in with us....with his brothers for the past 18 months.
Today is one of those hard days. My heart aches for them. They have already known and experienced more than any child should. Parental rights are in the process of being terminated....and yet...someone, in some office, that does NOT KNOW MY KIDS....is willing to make such a drastic decision that will affect them forever!!
This, we must stand against. It is appalling to me that with all the advances made in the area of child welfare we still allow this to continue. (For those of you that may now know: The first child abuse case in the US was brought to the courts by the ASPCA! REALLY.) We haven't made it very far in some ways. You don't believe me? Check here for a brief History of Child Welfare in the US.
Then please, pray & advocate for these children. We must take a stand! God commands us to care for the orphan.... James 1:27 can not be any plainer....."Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." RIGHT THERE.....we MUST care for the orphans in their distress. What is more distressing than the loss of your parents.....and then being torn from your siblings.
Here are some resources:
10 Myths of Sibling Adoption
Sibling Issues in Foster Care
Keeping Siblings Together Past Present and Future
Sibling Bonds & Separation
Alarm Sounded over Separating Siblings in Foster Care
Separating Siblings - The Liz Library
Sibling Ties
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Dear Foster/(soon-to-be) Adoptive Mom
Dear Foster/(soon-to-be) Adoptive Mother,
Wow! First I want to say, “Thank you.” I know it isn’t easy to love with every bit of your being with the little piece of doubt that creeps into your mind whispering, “What if?...” Just sit back for a moment, take a deep breath and remember why you began this journey. God knew what He was doing as He knit you, your story and that of your child, and just how it would all fit together; your strengths and her needs; your life experiences and his loss; your pain and their joy. And vise-versa.
Remember when you said “YES”…remember when your heart first began to melt. You may have only had a 2-3 sentence introduction, not knowing the color of his eyes, the way her hair curls over her eyes, the dimples that now explode when he sees you. You didn’t know any of it. All you knew is that you prayed for the child(ren) that God knew belonged in your home.
Remember when you first met. Remember the scared little one that was so unsure if you were “safe.” Remember how she ran right to you and called you “Mommy” because boundaries were never taught in her past because there were people in and out by the hour. Remember how she was so tiny you thought she was ½ the age the paperwork said. Remember the wide-eye wonder as you got to share that first play-day at the park.
And when you sit in the storms of life remember God’s promise that came with the rainbow. When your 10 year-old had an ‘accident’ because…..he really doesn’t know why...Remember that in that moment he was just a scared little boy that was threaten if he dared to leave his room to use the restroom. Or she wet the bed because if she got up in the middle of the night it would wake him up and bring on the unrelenting abuse and ”icky-touching”….but she forgot this place is safe.
Oh, I know how hard it is that your daughter doesn’t even know who her biological family is but she has to go on that visit anyway. I know it isn’t fair but her case manager say ‘they have no choice.’ When your ‘gut’ tells you something is not right, remember to fight. Fight for her. You are her voice. You may be in parental limbo right now and she may never know how you loved and protected her when the system wouldn’t. Or couldn’t.
Now, Mom, you need to find someone to confide in. Talk to that other adoptive mom that has been there. Don’t fall into the trap that you are alone. This journey often leaves each of us feeling alone. I think that is Satan’s plan. He doesn’t want these children to succeed. He doesn’t want the church to rescue them from his grip. Remember the” thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” (John 10:10). But you can offer Hope and the Redeemer. It will be a bumpy road but you can do it with God’s strength and guidance.
The other reason why you need that confidant is that God call us all into relationship; Relationship with each other and with Him. There will be times you need encouragement and times you can be the encourager. Matthew 18:5 tells us, “Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.” And then later in chapter 25 verse 40 states, And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.” You see, we are following after God’s heart and although it won’t always be easy it will be worth it if you are faithful.
Go and plan the future. Even when the future seems so uncertain: plan. Plan the next family vacation. It may be the first time they have packed a suitcase. Plan the celebration of the upcoming birthday because it is likely they never celebrated their special day. They day they were born may have been forgotten or cursed before. Plan to build an igloo in the snow and teach him to make a snowball. Teach her how to roll a giant snowman body. Give them the chance to play in the ocean, dig for worms, go fishing at the lake, make homemade ice cream, lay in the dark and stargaze, make memories.
What if, you ask? What if they go home? Well hopefully it is to a home of restored relationships. It will be to a parent that has learned to love and care for this gift from God. How will you heal, you wonder? Now that answer, is easy to say, but just like living the day to day….it is not always easy to do. Pray. You will pray. Pray that the parents have patience and understanding with this precious child. And today, pray. Pray for you; to have insight and understanding; to listen to the words said and unsaid; to turn to Him first; to act in love, mercy and grace. That God may always hold this precious child in the palm of His hand and keep him safe. There really is no guarantee, each child born to this earth is God’s and it is His job to ultimately protect them. No matter how the child joins our home and family they are God’s and we are just privileged enough to ‘babysit’ them for this season. Love them, guide them, teach them, pray for them, cherish them for today, tomorrow, for weeks, for months, for the years, or a lifetime.
So my sweet friend, as you transition from foster mom to adoptive mom, know that you are loved. Your friends are here for you. God is here for you. You are here for those children. The days are not always easy but there is always at least one blessing even in the midst of the storm. And just like Esther, What if… “Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”(Esther 4:14)
Have a Blessed Day (yes, even in the mess)!
Your Friend and Sister in Christ
Friday, February 14, 2014
A Valentine's Day Wish for All My Children
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Heartache, Life, and Death
and don’t use your position to crush the weak, Because God will come to their defense; the life you took, he’ll take from you and give back to them.”
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Marijuana, no big deal?
I know we are supposed to respect our leaders, but really?!? Hard to respect the person....I have seen some dumb statements. Really dumb. But have you seen this? 0bama: Marijuana no more dangerous than alcohol
As I read this, some of his quotes are beyond dumb:
"As has been well documented, I smoked pot as a kid, and I view it as a bad habit and a vice, not very different from the cigarettes that I smoked as a young person up through a big chunk of my adult life. I don't think it is more dangerous than alcohol"
Smoking marijuana is "not something I encourage, and I've told my daughters I think it's a bad idea, a waste of time, not very healthy,"
I really have to wonder why our world is going. Well, no, I don't have to wonder. It is the end times. Revelation tells us:
In verse 21, sorceries is actually referring to drugs. It is the actually Greek word for pharmacy, Pharmakeia. So its no wonder that this world is normalizing so many things that are sin, and nothing but.
That passage of scripture really lays out where we are as a world. We must repent from our ways. Jesus is coming soon. I feel like I could go on and on. By no means am I faultless....I am a sinner too. I have made some poor choices in my life. Grace is what has saved me.
While on the topic of repentance, please feel free to take a moment and check out this "test"....please feel free to see if you are a good person. Good Person Test
See, when we compare ourselves to the world's standards we can come out looking pretty 'good'.....but in reality, we are going to be judges by God's law. We all have fallen short. But God provided His son, Jesus to pay the price. He is a gracious God.
People get ready, Jesus is coming soon.
Friday, January 17, 2014
START
Ok, Now, go ahead....read:
1start
verb \ˈstärt\: to begin to work on, produce, or give attention to (something)
Full Definition of START
Examples of START
- They started clearing land for the new housing development.
- He started studying music at the age of five.
- As soon as you're ready to play, we'll start.
- Let's start with some warm-up exercises.
- He deleted what he wrote and started fresh.
- Olympic athletes start young and train hard.
- I started the quilt last month.
- Have you started your book report?
- We started the meeting at 6:30.
- She started the meeting with a brief review of the previous meeting.
Origin of START
Related to START
2start
noun: the first part of an activity, development, event, etc.
Full Definition of START
Examples of START
- <knew from the start of the game that he would win easily>
First Known Use of START
Related to START
- Synonyms
- alpha, baseline, birth, commencement, dawn, day one, genesis, get-go (also git-go), inception, incipience, incipiency, kickoff, launch, morning, nascence, nascency, onset, outset, beginning, threshold
- Antonyms
- close, conclusion, end, ending, omega
- Related Words
- drawing board, first base, ground zero, square one; creation, founding, inauguration, initiation, institution, origination; cradle, fountain, fountainhead, germ, origin, root, seedbed, source, spring, well, wellspring; dawning, opening; advent, appearance, arrival, debut (also début), emergence; childhood, infancy, youth
- Near Antonyms
- cessation, closing, closure, completion, finale, finish, period, stop, termination, windup
START
abbreviationDefinition of START
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Single Parent Foster Care
I like to read about your joys, struggles, concerns, celebrations, and everyday life. I love to see how my kiddos and your say and do the silliest things. Yes, it helps me not go crazy.
So today, as I help kiddos with homework and reading, I thought I would look for some single foster parents blogs......
.....looking.......
......searching........
.................search another phrase...........
.................and................search another phrase...........
.................and search ........yet.............another phrase...........
REALLY???
I am really disappointed. I found a few and it seems that they were all abandoned after 3 or 4...maybe 6 entries. SAD. I wonder why that is.
Anyone have any ideas? Is is the discouragement of noone reading? Is it the business of being a single parent?? (Believe me I understand that! I was a single mom of one before this adventure....and now I have added three!) We need each other. For support, encouragement, fellowship, ideas, a listening ear, a sounding board, laughter, and ....so much more.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Candace Cameron Bure's "S-WORD"
OK, So I have to admit....I love Candace Cameron Bure! Not because she played "DJ" on 'Full House'....although she was awesome in that role. You see it goes so much beyond that.
Almost three years ago, I have the privilege of seeing her speak at a church. And then had the opportunity to meet her. She was awesome. She actually sat to meet everyone that wanted to wait in line. She was kind and compassionate to my son (Who HAD to buy a t shirt that says "My favorite DJ is D.J. Tanner") spoke with him, encouraged him and signed his shirt & my book. At that time she was speaking at various places sharing her testimony and publicizing her book "Reshaping It All".
Currently she is on a press tour for her new book "Balancing It All"My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose (and I CAN'T WAIT to read it!)...Dont we all try exactly that.: Be everything, to everybody, everywhere as we balance all of our various roles, responsibilities and opportunities. Candace promises to not give a step-by-step or how to rather one example of how it can be. During a recent interview she used THE s-word.....yeah, the awful, awful, word: submissive! I mean can you believe that! HA...what an outrage. Right? Um.....
So in case you missed it, here it is:
So many take an issue with the fact that she allows her husband to be the leader in the home. She clarifies well here by stating, on HuffPost Live, "The definition I'm using with the word 'submissive' is the biblical definition of that. So, it is meekness, it is not weakness. It is strength under control, it is bridled strength."
I totally applaud her. There is MORE strength in submitting to one's husband that not. Oh, and just to show how week she is NOT...check out this little snap shot she posted on her Facebook page!
She has also explained, "First Peter 3:1 says, 'In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.'"
"It is very difficult to have two heads of authority," she told HuffPost Live. "It doesn't work in military, it doesn't work -- I mean, you have one president, you know what I'm saying?"
She is absolutely correct. Some people that understand animals will also know...you can't have two bulls in the same pen! Candace also states that her husband values and respects her opinions.
I suppose that those that are not in Christ will not see that her husband is not a tyrant. The live in partnership. However, she submits to him, he to Christ, and Christ submitted to the Father on the cross. If we had more biblical example living in the world, our world would not be in such CHAOS! We need to go back to the basics.
I am, however, a realist and I know that during these end times it is only going to get worse as Christian speak of our faith and how we live. SO, Candace, AMEN SISTER!!! Keep preaching truth in all you do!
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
God Made Me This Mom
Well, I have been scouring everything looking for all types of resources to help me become a better parent. I thought I really was a good parent. My bio son & I were a dynamic duo... really. Let me assure you NOTHING has prepared me for parenting three children newly diagnosed with full FASD.
Well, I will say, My friend Jessie over at "Then I Laughed" wrote and share this AWESOME post this morning "God Made Me This Mom"....I love Jessie and her honesty. She shared this wonderful nugget:
Yes, I do follow Lysa TerKeurst via Facebook and Twitter. I have been involved with Leading & Loving It, a ministry for women in ministry and pastor's wives for several years now. I adore Lysa and she always gives timely wisdom.
So I guess, God prepared me. He knew what type of struggles these kids would have. He knew that they would need me to fight for them to even be diagnosed. They need someone to allow them to grow and believe in them and encourage them....because THEY CAN DO IT!
God knew that they would need someone that understands loss. Someone that can be strong. Someone that will help them with the transition from foster care to adoption. Someone to help them see what family is suppose to be. Someone to help them know love. And someone to help them know HIM!
So, yeah, I have been prepared. Thanks God. Thank you for preparing me when I didn't even know it. I am ready. Here I am.
So, now, back to my research. This awesome book ALL_ABOUT_ME.pdf was shared in one of my Facebook groups....it is one of the best resources yet!! Check it out if you have a FASD or other special needs child. It is easily personalized so you can give it to everyone involved in your child's care.
....and no, I don't have it all together! That is where God and His unending Grace come in!!