Adoption Myths

So my friend, Allison, over at Schumm Explosion and I have been spendin loads of time together lately because we teach PS-MAPP together. And I am truly blessed to have her as my friend!! I love her family....walking into her home is a big snuggle-fest by the little!!

Anyway, we worked on "debunking" 20 popular myths of state adoptions.  I could post it all here... But you would miss out on so much of her great stuff..... So go to "State Adoption Myths Debunked" to read it!

Parent-Teacher Conferences

So as a single mom with 3 children in two different schools I must admit this time of year is one of the few times I hate that they attend schools on opposite sides of town.  When you have a kindergartener, first grader, and second grader they all want you to attend everything.... So special party days are the other days this is challenging. 

I am so proud of the hard work my boys have done over the past year! 

Pome on the Range

I have my sister-in-law to thank for this awesome day!  We were talking about a trip to the pumpkin patch and she suggested this awesome little place called Pome on the Range.  We had a blast.  When we started thinking about how many people there would be that could go....with all the bio-kids, foster kids, and friends....it was really cool.  We actually ended up with 10 adults and 9 kids...which doesn't seem odd.  But it is something to think about when included 4 grandparents, only 2 bio kids (one's also a 'step') but 7 of those kiddos are foster children in 3 families....and we were representing 3 races/culture.  

I loved watching God's Word being lived out.... and my heart was absolutely bursting with joy when we filled the ENTIRE wagon coming back!

Here's a few photos from the day:

Walking to the pumpkin patch.

Hunt for a masterpiece!

Picking apples.

Li'l Miss has her first experience picking fruit from the tree!

Gains and Losses

As a PS-MAPP instructor, I have the privilege to teach others about the losses and gains as well as the gains and losses our kiddos face.  This weekend was one of those real life moments for our family.  Yesterday Iron Man & Little Bit's sister Lil' Miss moved in.

I hadn't told the boys that this was happening (I didn't want them to be disappointed if if didn't happen for one reason or another) even though I knew that she was coming Thursday afternoon. So Friday I made all the arrangements to get here rolled in school and the before/after school program.  We have been slowly prepping her room....so that has basically been done since finishing the upstairs of the house.

But I need to share what transpired.  For you to gain insight into how  these kids think and feel...and for them in the future to know they are all loved. Saturday morning when we arrived to pick up Li'l Miss, her foster mom came out to help moved things into our car.

Iron Man noticed all the bags and said "hey, cool you're bringing some stuff with you."

ME: Do you know why she's bringing stuff with her?

IRON MAN: .....sleepover?

ME: We'll, yeah but...more like a permanent sleepover.

IRON MAN: (Total confused look on his face-I am still negotiating and learning how his FAS brain processes information) What do you mean?

ME: She's moving with us.

IRON MAN: (Complete with a fist in the air) YES!!!  What about Munchkin?

(Munchkin is their 2yo baby brother who is also in foster care....but placed with his paternal grandparents)

My heart broke....  It broke for these three kids that have each other, but don't have everything. They are missing the 4th spoke in the wheel that has for so long functioned together....even if wobbly and floppy like a flat tire. It broke for the family that will most likely never live together because bio-mom can't give up the drug addiction. It broke in fear that if the worker gets the sibling split they want....most likely these three children will suffer the huge loss of the baby brother they are already struggling to hold onto. It broke for all of them...and on some level, me....because there isn't anything I wouldn't do to allow them the opportunity to all live together. Here.  

.....and then I prayed.  I prayed as I hugged Li'l Miss's foster mom. She held back tears. I reassured her, we will keep the connection.  I prayed for strength to parent these three children. I prayed for the words of encouragement to give them when they miss Munchkin.  I prayed for strength to fight for them. For them to have the fair opportunity to live together in one family....it's not their fault they have different fathers....why should they suffer more loss.

And then we drove home.  And the squeals of joy of bringing home their sister drowned out a small portion of sadness and sorrow.

And then I prayed a quick prayer of thanksgiving.....Thanks Lord for allowing me the privilege to babysit these blessings and raise these children to know you.

Visit Nightmare

SO, I know how this bio-parent visit thing is supposed to work....but today I am beyond frustrated and angry.  I was on my way to pick the kiddos up from a 1-hour supervised visit (in the office) when I got a TEXT from the worker...asking me "Where are you? MOM just took an earring out of her ear and pierced Little Bit's ear"

I have to admit...my first response was probably not very Christian-like at all.  SO... I will give you the tame version of: OH MY GOODNESS!!!! WHAT??????? ARE YOU FRIGGIN' KIDDING ME???? AND YOU WORKER DIDNT STOP THAT?!?!?!?!?!!

I have to admit, I do not get for the life of me how during a supposed supervised visit that was allowed to even happen.  And why is that even remotely ok?  And on what planet, at what moment, could make a mother think that was an 'ok' thing to do to her son.....??  At any point - let alone after this kiddo hasn't had an earring in his ear for 18+ months?!  Geez-louise....I know how bad my ear hurts when I don't have an earring in for a week!!!

DO YOU HEAR THAT??????  Yeah, I think it was my heart shattering (once again) into a million pieces.  I can't even imagine what it must be like to have your mother - the one person in the world that is suppose to protect you - cause that much pain.  UUUUUGGGGGHHH!!!!!





***Footnote to this....at least there was a drug test done after this behavior...and yes it was positive for methamphetamines.  So I guess, that is on what planet, under what conditions on might do that.


Breaks. My. Heart.

TIMELINE

So, why is it so disheartening when bio parents don't complete the simplest of things?

We had court today, and I am frustrated that after 18 months the judge gave mom another two.  I know they like to give a chance for 'every little inkling" of possible....

She stood in court and (I believe) lied about having a job.  Yes, it sounds so cynical, I know.  BUT, I was sitting outside the courthouse when she pulled up (well actually the boyfriend with a revoked DL was driving) got out of her car walked around...climbed in the back and got changed. Right. In. The. Middle. of. the. town square. Really? Really!

My prayer is that she will wake up....but I don't think that is going to happen.  I am seeing loss and pain for all involved.....

Little Bit Turns 7

So this isn't the best picture of it....but he wanted a Skylanders birthday cake.  This was my first attempt at fondant.  It came out great and I was totally impressed with myself and the power portal I made....

No, I didn't make the characters....those are part of his gift and are figures he can play with. 

We celebrated a few days early since his birthday falls in the middle of the week. But we will have a birthday dinner that night too!