Surgery #1

Technically, I suppose this is his second major surgery....but the first one I'm around for.  He had a g-tube placed while in NICU and also had an intestinal twist fixed.

Anyway, we arrived at Ronald McDonal House this afternoon.  WOW!! What a blessing this is.  I had stayed at the RMH in Long Beach but this is even better!  I am amazed at the accommodations available to families.  There's the typical room, family areas, nightly dinner proved, and there is a huge pantry, coffee & snack bar, a pop machine with $.25 cokes (can't even find the cheapy walmart brand anymore for that!), and shuttle service back and for to Children's Mercy (anytime day or night).


We have an arrival time of 6:30am in the morning so it is nice to be able to relax a bit this evening and not have to drive all the way here in the morning!!!  I have been doing fairly well at not thinking much about this surgery.  It is the first cranial surgery - posterior expansion and we will have distractors placed.

Home Away From Home

Dining Area

Pantry that I, and many large families, would love to have!!

OVERCOMER

I anticipated this book (OVERCOMER) for many reasons but I would have to say the primary one is how I came to “know” Dorsey.  You see, my very own surprise blessing was born June 2015 with Apert Syndrome.  His condition was a total shock to his birth parents, who like Dorsey’s didn’t want to give up on him.  However due to the society in their home country, they know they couldn’t parent him and give him the medical care he would need in his life.

So, fast forward a few months, I saw Dorsey on the Apert support group and couldn’t wait to be able to see how a boy became a wonderful man of God traveling and doing ministry.  They other ‘funny thing ‘ is we are part of the same denomination.  Just separated by 1200 miles. So, I jumped at the opportunity to get a copy of the book to review.

The day it arrived I sat eager to see what life was life for him and what to expect for my son.  Now, I have always felt that God has a plan for my little man and that he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him.  I also have known, that disabilities and differences only mean different ability…not inability.  That goes back to my childhood and my good friend that grew up with cerebral palsy doing everything we did, just sometimes differently.

So, onto Dorsey.  It was really refreshing to see how this man has faced over 60 surgeries in his life not become bitter but rather a vessel for God to use.  He could have easily given up when adversity came at him.  In fact his life was being attacked from the moment he took his first breath.  From doctors telling his parents they should just sign him over because he’d be brain dead soon anyway.

Dorsey does an excellent job reminding his readers of God’s word and Truth that comes in seemingly simple moments in life,  that life is not easy….and God never promised that.  He promised He would work all things for His good and His purpose.  If we will just listen.

I highly recommend this book for everyone.  Weather you are facing a small challenge in life, have a child with special needs, or if you need a reminder to re-find your purpose and calling.  It is going to be an encouragement for everyone that takes the opportunity to read it. 

Lastly, I am a foster/adoptive mom to several children with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and one with autism.  As a single woman embarking on this challenge I was told to give up many times.  I felt like I wanted an boost to keep going.  To keep listening to God’s call, even when I stumble and fall, say things I shouldn’t, or have a bad day.  This was great encouragement that I will surely pick up again from time to time for reminders in the future.

Oh and yes, I know a little of what my son faces in the future.  A chance to listen to God call, opening the doors He wants open and following Him throughout life and what it may bring!

WOW....I just "had triplets"....they are 11, 9, & 8.  Two boys and a girl!  YES! YES! YES!  They judge removed Iron Man, Little Bit, & L'l Miss from the state's custody and placed them with me for adoption.  Paperwork will be filed in 7-10 days and we will be having a finalization by the end of April!!!


Oh the relief of it all....my kiddos will have a momma by Mother's Day!!!


God is so GOOD!!

The Greatest Gift

I love this photo....not just because my little peanut is 6 months old....but because of his little face.  He is in awe of the tree.  What a picture of the anticipation of our newborn savior.  Merry Christmas.

Today is a day after many that I've been so disheartened by our system. Not only have a seen families torn apart, heard of foster families refused adoption of their long term placements, watched kids be retraumatized....and now I am at a major crossroad with my own long term placement.  My plan when I began this journey 3 years ago was foster care but was asked by the GAL to adopt.  So I began to consider it.  I already loved these kids....so why not!  So I have thrown myself into this.  We have traveled the US and Caribbean as a family. I have promised my love and support to them...and they have claimed my family as theirs.  But all of this is not good enough.  I am dishearten that I have been denied as their adoptive resource and have tried to figure out how to fight for them.  Kids in foster care haven rights. Foster parents have no rights.  I may ask the court for direct placement....but now i have been told the plan is to move them as soon as possible.  I just can't believe in this system and all we know about trauma and attachment that a major disruption like this is whats best.

Trick or Treat

One of the drawbacks to foster care is not being able to show faces....so if I can't share theirs...why share mine!?

Happy Halloween!

"...when dreams come true, there is life and joy."

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy.” – Proverbs 13: 12

I really have counted this as a blessing to be able to watch a momma fall in love with her baby.  New life is always special but when adoption is at the heart of a life changing experience, there is just something extraordinary about it.  Now, you may be thinking how easy it is to fall in love with a baby.  Squishy. Cute. Chubby cheeks. Yes, true.  But what about when that new baby is 5, 8, or 14?

My sweet friend was able to pick up her new son for another overnight visit and they chose to stay with me.  I watched a momma change diapers, help with muscle stretches, and dress her new boy.  Her sweet, adorable, happy, 8-year-old boy.  I watched this precious boy, who supposedly has major trauma and anxiety over going to respite just fall into love with his momma's tickles, hugs, kisses, and playful engagement.  You see, I believe a child knows when they are loved and wanted.  

Foster care is hard.  It is needed. Desperately.  When a family decides to foster a child or children, there is some amount of distance.  Even when they try their best to love on a child...there just is.  I am not sure if this is because no matter what you do, you know they are "not yours"....or if it just the self-protection that comes with the territory no matter how hard you try to go "all-in".  In turn, I believe the child knows and feels they are different.  Not wanted. Unloveable.  Therefore, their hope is deferred.  Hope for a forever family put on hold.  Hope for what was or should have been can diminish and fade.

So when that moment happens when a child is scooped up and made part of the family.  When he is grafted into the tree with tender love and care, he knows. He knows he is lovable.  She knows that she is special and wanted.  He knows you will care for me even in the poops of life.

So tonight, first hand, I was able to see  a glimpse of Proverbs 13:12 transform a special boy.  This sweet young man melted into his momma's arms as she rocked, tickled, and played. Connecting and lovingly looking into his eyes and heart. In return, he giggled, laughed, and even teased in return.  I believe, his dreams are coming true because there is pure joy in his sweet life.  Thanks God.