More Than Rubies

I have primarily focused on foster care here but tonight I have something more.  I think it is important.  For me. For you.  And maybe for some other young woman.  (Perhaps some young men, too.)  Some things that are here may offend you.  Sorry if they do but this is a portion of my testimony and I WILL NOT BACK DOWN.  

I have recently started talking with someone that I thought was a nice guy. Yesterday I would have said this gentleman was a Christian. Well.... 

Just had an unusual exchange (this was actually over two days)....went from a friendly conversation he had asked about my former fiancé and what happened; why did we break up?

ME: We dated off and on during high school...got engaged in college & because we knew we were getting married we had become sexually active both thinking this was 'ok' because we were getting married anyway.  Let me assure you it was not ok.  Satan took was became a gray area and blended and smeared that into other areas of my life.  I am not proud of the roads I took but that is the road I took. We did break up due to my pursuing a same-sex attraction.


In the past 3-4 years I have dated a few guys I thought would be great husbands but a couple just seemed interested in sex ...and frankly I think my past stemmed from my sexual immorality so I do not want to make that mistake again (no sex before I'm married) and I want a husband that is committed to Christ and has a relationship with God and is prepared to lead our family spiritually. Many other prospects didn't make it to the first date or didn't make it past a 2nd. 


HIM  "I don't believe in waiting until marriage for sexual intimacy. I do want to have a committed 100% faithful relationship, but do not want to wait until marriage for it to occur." and because I didn't reply last night I also got this: "I'm guessing you don't agree with that. Well best of luck to you." 

ME: 
Yes, you are right. I won't/can't make that mistake again. I'm just at a point in my relationship with God that following His word is more important.











HIM:
 I think that a big part of a relationship is negotiating and attempting to please each other's needs....you are unwilling to do that?












           

ME: 


Honestly there didn't seem to be much room for negotiating...you said you didn't believe in waiting for marriage and I won't compromise on that. I know it was that compromise that satan used to warp and twist my views on sexuality. I won't make that mistake again. I ruined a wonderful relationship that I had and am still suffering consequences from it. Had I waited until marriage there would have been no option for exploration of another. It would have been my husband only.
Then you sent a message telling me best of luck....to me that didn't leave a window open for negotiations. I didn't say I wouldn't kiss or be affectionate...but I know I can't cross that line.



HIM:
...you and I both know, that when love is present then intimacy occurs. I won't have sex until I am told ******, I LOVE YOU. but I do expect it soon. Your call if you truly don't want me, I am sorry for you, missing out on me









                









ME: 


Well, I then perhaps we will be better off as friends now because I loved my fiancé deeply and we KNEW we were getting married so we decided it was "ok".... But honestly it wasn't.
I like you. I felt we had a good connection, but I won't be swayed to go against God's word or will. Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." I know what damage that did and I don't want to repeat it. My true goal is to be a Proverbs 31 woman... Premarital sex is a non-negotiable for me. If that causes me to "miss out", so be it. My reward will be greater.

Again, I wish you luck in finding a wife who is everything you desire.









This is where it turned to insults, name-calling, and being cussed at by a "Christian" (and due to the language he certainly wasn't a man or gentleman!!) who was rather upset that I would not negotiate on Godly things.   Frankly, I have the entire rant since it was done in print...but It would bring now glory to reprint the vulgar language that was hurled at me.  Frankly I think much of it would have offended many sailors!  My response was this:  "....And for you to go to the low low state of name calling proves your own insecurity and lack of a relationship with Christ. And THAT is a further point of how I know I just made the right choice. I want to be in a marriage with a Godly man who will love me as Christ loves his church, not one who will stoop to a low like that.... I pray for you."
(BTW, He did respond with more before I blocked him from contacting me further....)

Sorry but I will not apologize for the fact that I will NOT negotiate on His commands or what He teaches in His word.  I want other young woman to realize they need to value themselves.  Value who you are.  God made you special.  DO NOT COMPROMISE to fit in with any man.  To be part of any "in crowd" or group.  And to the young men: You do not have to conform to society either.  Do not try to do what everyone else is....You are better than that.  You were made better than that!  If some young woman tries to make you compromise, She's. Not. Worth. It.

God reminded me:
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans12:2)  He makes all things new. 

Just because we once "were" does not define who we are. We are all made new in HIM! Thanks God for Your never ending love. I am a Proverbs 31 woman because of who You are and what You have done for me!!  I know Proverbs 31:10 states, "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."  Compromise is easy. Being upstanding, upright before God, and of noble character...that is a difficult road...but it will be blessed beyond your imagination and dreams because God fulfills all Him promises!  

You are worth far more than rubies!