Today is a day after many that I've been so disheartened by our system. Not only have a seen families torn apart, heard of foster families refused adoption of their long term placements, watched kids be retraumatized....and now I am at a major crossroad with my own long term placement.  My plan when I began this journey 3 years ago was foster care but was asked by the GAL to adopt.  So I began to consider it.  I already loved these kids....so why not!  So I have thrown myself into this.  We have traveled the US and Caribbean as a family. I have promised my love and support to them...and they have claimed my family as theirs.  But all of this is not good enough.  I am dishearten that I have been denied as their adoptive resource and have tried to figure out how to fight for them.  Kids in foster care haven rights. Foster parents have no rights.  I may ask the court for direct placement....but now i have been told the plan is to move them as soon as possible.  I just can't believe in this system and all we know about trauma and attachment that a major disruption like this is whats best.