Merry Christmas!

God, you loved us so much you sent your only son to Earth....to be born into a manger....to come and restore our relationship.  Yes, we humans aren't always quite as thankful as we should be....gracious often times falls out of our vocabulary....

Thank You.  Thank you for caring enough.  For loving us enough.

Each day, I am blessed with a chance to show unconditional love....and sometimes I blow it.  Thank you for being perfect and always giving us Grace & Mercy.

This was our tree this year.... The awe that was in Iron Man's voice when he came downstairs was worth it!  And I didn't go overboard....I know, that is relative....but seriously....
They each got some clothes....those slippers they begged for the first night....a remote control car....and a few special things.  I made them each a small fleece blanket.  There were a couple 'household gifts' too....board games and a portable dvd player (from Santa)

The big gift they will get when we come home after all the celebrations today....I am taking them on vacation!!  A weeklong trip to (ANOTHER STATE) visit family...and it will be so much fun.

We took an hour ride to the airport last month and they thought that was "forever"  HAHAHA wait until a 15hr car ride!!  I can't wait!

Thanksgiving

This morning I was making a salad for our family Thanksgiving dinner. (It's something my mom and gradnmother before her always made.)  Little Bit and Iron Man were both watching and asking me what I was doing.  I explained it to them...and thinking about how I wanted them to have a "little taste of home" if possible, I asked what type of things they had for Thanksgiving when they lived with their mom.

The grim reality of their situation hit me like a 2x4 as Iron Man flatly replied, "We've never had Thanksgiving dinner."

I know that this really should not have been such a shock.... but yet, it still was a learning moment.

They loved the adventure of Thanksgiving with the entire family.....food, fun, food, fun, ALL DAY LONG!

God, thanks for blessing me with parents that, although they weren't perfect, loved me and cared for me!

A Very Merry Un-Birthday.....to you!!

Yes, so in the course of conversations I discovered that neither of the boys have celebrated a birthday....or near as I can tell, they may have "gotten a gift once" as Iron Man put it.  Oh, me oh my.....

It is moments like that when you really get a glimpse of what life is like for kids in foster care.  This kind of stuff just aggravates me....there is NO reason for a child to not have his or her birthday celebrated.  NONE!!!!  Poverty is not even a reason.... As a mom I know that even if I make something  special or even a DollarTree toy can be special!!  UGH!!

OK, enough of that rant now....

So, today we cooked up a bit of a surprise for Little Bit.  A "un-birthday" party.  I fully expect that the boys will be here long term enough to celebrate Iron Man's birthday in January....and I know with our a celebration for Little Bit he won't understand.  Why he didn't have a birthday.

So complete with Chocolate cake, candles, and a few gifts....A Very Merry Un-(6th)-Birthday to YOU, Little Bit!!!!!!  I love you.

(I have some great photos of this day...but can't post them due to the confidentiality. So you will just have to trust me....and I promise to try to edit some later.)

New vision

Yes, a few days ago we were looking at toys ads in the newspaper.  Oh, yes, time for making a list and checking it twice..... but anyway, Little Bit had the Walmart ad and was trying to peel up a sticker that was on there....EXCEPT for the fact that is wasn't "stuck" onto the ad...it was part of the ad....so that was my first clue that he was really not seeing very well....

After a call to my eye doctor to squeeze him in....he got glasses!  His vision was -3.5 in on eye and -4 in the other...SO DAG-GONE is it any wonder why he has had behavior problems???  The frustrating part to me is that he should have had glasses this entire time in foster care....after diving into his 'red book' (the binder of info they send with the kiddos in this state.....yes, even in there, there was an old IEP from before coming into custody in APril....Bio-mom knew his glasses were broke then but hadn't bothered to get the fixed/replaced.

I just can't imagine not being important enough in my mom's life for her to replace my glasses.  Yes, I know they get expensive....and YES, I know kids break them....a lot.  I was THAT kid!!  I fell asleep on my many, many times.  And that was back-in-the-day before springs in the ear pieces!!

Little Bit, you are handsome with those glasses....and yes....I love watching you compare how you see with them and without.  I know you too are amazed at how much you have been missing!!

Trick or Treat

Yes, this is Iron Man and Little Bit (Or, for tonight Spiderman).  They told me this was the first time they went Trick-or-Treating.  Considering the difficulty we have had over the past few day with transitions we had a great time and they both did great!

Today it actually happened.  I went and picked up Little Bit and Iron Man from the former foster home.  WOW, that itself is odd.  Yes, they had been there for sometime but the agency felt it was best for them to have a home that could provide them more one-on-one attention.

We stopped at McDonald's for dinner...even against my better judgement.  I really didn't want to set an example the first day....but figured it was an easy thing to do.  While there, they both wanted cookies.  I suggested we go home and make brownies that we could then have for snack time before bed.  OH MY... you would have thought that I just gave them the best gift ever.  Iron Man said, "You have bedtime snack at your house?!"  I assured him yes, we do...

These little boys are so small.  Its obvious that even though lack of proper nutrition was part of the issues that landed them into custody in April...it hasn't been much better in foster care so far.  :(
It also saddens me to hear the language they have already about foster homes and respite care and they have had so many experiences.  They should not know so much already.

Lord, please let me help these boys to know you and love you!

It is official.  I now have my temporary foster care license.  Just waiting for that call.  In this moment, I pray that God will use me to influence, guide, and protect the children He sends my way.  I am nervous about getting attached but I know I will just cover each little Blessing in lots of prayer.

Living Through The Refiner's Fire

And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver: and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness.

Often times we want our lives to just be shiny. Bright. Glowing. Perfect. And in that desire we don't think about the process or the pain that will make us into what He desires us to be. When I was a child, I didn't grow up "in church" per say. My dad is Catholic, so yes I had some knowledge of what God was....but He was this far off distant thing. There was no personal relationship aspect to God or Jesus.

The process of refining silver is a personal one. The refiner must sit and carefully hold the silver in the hottest part of the flame. You know where I mean?...Not just barely glancing the edges of the flame like a parlor trick. (I'm sure you have done that as a kid...."Oh, look at me" and swipe your finger through that golden edge of 'flame' all the while acting as if you had some mystical power.) No, he holds that metal down in the hottest part of the fire and sits for the duration.

Some time ago, a few ladies met in a certain city to read the scriptures, and make them the subject of conversation. While reading the third chapter of Malachi they came upon a remarkable expression in the third verse: "And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." One lady's opinion was that is was intended to convey the view of the sanctifying influence of the grace of Christ. Then she proposed to visit a silversmith and report to them what he said on the subject.

She went accordingly and without telling the object of her errand, begged to know the process of refining silver, which he fully described to her. "But Sir" she said, "do you sit while the work of refining is going on?" "Oh, yes, madam," replied the silversmith; "I must sit with my eye steadily fixed on the furnace, for if the time necessary for refining be exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured."

The lady at once saw the beauty, and comfort too, of the expression, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." Christ sees it needful to put His children into a furnace; His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for them. Their trials do not come at random; "the very hairs of your head are all numbered."

As the lady was leaving the shop, the silversmith called her back, and said he had forgotten to mention that the only way that he knows when the process of purifying is complete when he sees his own image reflected in the silver....      --Author Unknown

So it is here, that I am being held by Jesus. The fire is hot. The trials are long. The process can be undaunting. But I know when it is over, I will be pure, free from the impurities and mess that life leeched into me.  I will be able to further use these experiences for His glory, for others to save them from the same mistakes, to witness to His amazing love.