Love is....

Remember that old cartoon/comic.   You know.  The one where it always said "Love Is...." with a cute little picture and saying.

Today, as I picked up the boys from after school....Little Bit came running and jumping into my arms (for the second day in a row) as he was yelling

"MOMMA....MOMMA...MOMMMMMEEEEEEEE....."

And during that moment I do believe....

Love is.....

And one day at a time it is.  But I am also reminded that "LOVE IS ENOUGH!"  Thank you Jesus for loving me.  Thank you for allowing me to love.  Thank you for the chance to show that love is enough and love is what we all need.

I love because he first loved me.  (1 John 4:19)

Real truth or fake truth....

OK, you know, you just have to have an appreciation for the things kids say!!!  Like tonight.  We are walking to get dinner at Chick-Fil-A (It was receipt night....free food for bring my receipt back from Thursday...2 for 1 dinner can't beat it!!!) ...anyway....

We are walking and Little Bit and I have the following conversation:



LB: My coat is ripped.

ME: How did you do that?

LB:  I didn't.  It just did it.

ME: Uhm, No it didn't just "do it"  How did you do it?

LB:  I don't know.

ME:  Ok.  When did it happen.

LB: Uhhhhhh......

ME: LB. When.

LB: Friday.

ME: How did you do it?

LB:  I don't know.

ME:  Yes you do. Either your ripped the whole thing (This is a hole from under the arm down the side..B-I-G  GIANT.  HOLE!) or it had a little hole and you tore it up.  SO, how did you do you?

LB:  weeeelllllll..............

ME:  You will get in less trouble if you just tell the truth.

LB:  Do you want the real truth or the fake truth?

ME: Real truth, please.




Frankly, I am not sure if I ever even was told how this gash even happened.  Honestly,  I was so, so , so  just trying to keep the chuckling inside and not let it show.  HAHA!!! Oh my goodness we have come so far.  I am loving this kid.  He really and truly cracks me up "Real truth or fake truth".


ME:  OH, and by the way Little Bit, I am not buying you another coat.  So when it gets cold and you don't have one...so sad for you.  You will need to buy a new one.

(Yes, I came back enough to toss a little Love & Logic his way.....no rants, no yelling, no craziness....)

We have I have really been making an effort to get the truth in all things.  Honesty is so hard.  I mean, its hard for us 'normal' adults....so imagine what it is like for a kid that had whatever God-aweful experience every time something went wrong in life.  Yes, it is hard to own our actions and take responsibility...but we must.

Kisses From Katie and a Lesson From Jacob

This morning was a difficult one. One of hard memories and broken hearts.  Well, specifically my broken heart.  I began rereading my friend Katie's blog.  I say friend but actually she is a sister in Christ that lives halfway around the world in Uganda.

I first cam across Katie in October 2011.  I saw a video about her story and ministry called Amazima Ministries.  As luck God would have it, she was speaking the following day for her last US speaking engagement for the year.  Knowing that I could in no way make the Sunday morning services she was speaking at because I was on staff at a church at the time, I knew I would be making the 1 1/2 drive for the evening service at David Platt's church,  The Church at Brook Hills.

And to further show how God sets divine appointments....I had read David Platt's book "Radical" just a few months before.  During that growing time of my live, God dealt with me.  I never really write notes into books I read...this one is littered with notes, prayers, and challenges.  Specifically, I remember writing; "What would my life look like - and what would this city & country look like - if we said YES to God and lived radically for Jesus?"

Many, many things have happened in my life since that time and I will share them at some point - but today is not yet the time.

Anyway, back to today, as I sit reading through Katie Davis' blog, Kisses From Katie, I have bee reminded of the reason I am where I am.  I just cam across this entry; teenagers and a lesson from Jacob. As i was reading, I was reminded again how God commands us to care for the widows and orphans.  That is why I do what I do.  Adoption and foster care is God's heart....and it must be in our hearts.  Adoption and foster care are each a blessing.  Adoption and foster care are hard.  There are moments when everyone hurts.  Children are thankful for the safety and security...the food and love.  But this all comes with a price.  There is loss.  There are hurts.  Little bit snuggles up and loves on me calling me Momma and Mommy and in less than 24 hours can spew hatred and make me want to pull my hair out.

But I know love is what is needed.  More specifically His LOVE is needed. Commanded.  Katie, in this post refers to Genesis Chapter 33. Esau and Jacob are meeting for the first time in a long time. As Jacob approaches Esau, with his many children following close behind, Esau asks, “ And who are these with you?”

Jacob’s reply: “These are the children that the Lord saw fit to bless me with.”

Yes, these are the children that the Lord saw fit to bless me with.  My number 2 & 3 sons.  You have captured my heart.  I love you.  

As I finished reading this particular post, I scrolled up to go to the next post....yes, I really was re-reading the ENTIRE blog beginning to end.  Not because I haven't read it....but because I needed the reminder of the transformation God can do in and through us when we are just willing to say "YES"....

Anyway...this particular entry was posted on August 2, 2010.  My dear sweet #1 son's birthday.  And it is because of him I am where I am along this journey.  And it is he, who God asked me to willing give to Him just over 2 years ago.  Oh it broke my heart to utter that "yes" unto Him...and I'm sure if I knew what that "YES" would've meant, I am sure my stubborn human self would not have willingly said yes....but without it....I may not be where I am today....and yet, I do not even know where I am going!

Letter To The Editor....

Every year 3.3 million reports of child abuse are made in the United States involving nearly 6 million children (a report can include multiple children). Children are abused - physically attacked, emotionally damaged, sexually molested, or severely neglected - often by the people they have loved and trusted most. (2)

Many of these children become a part of the foster care system. In the system they will bounce from foster homes, group homes, institutional settings, attempted reunification in their parent's homes and homes of extended family members for any number of their childhood years. According to the US Department of Health and Human Services Administration for Child and Family Welfare, there are over 400,000 children in the foster care system in the United States today. (1) According to the Kansas Department for Children and Families, the average number of children living in Out of Home placements thus far in FY 2013 is 5,478. (9)

In addition to the trauma that a young child experiences due to abuse or neglect, several foster care alumni studies show that without a lifelong connection to a caring adult, youth who spend a significant amount of time in foster care are left vulnerable to a host of adverse situations including dropping out of high-school, becoming a young parent, experiencing homeless, having no health insurance and receiving public assistance. (4) Fourteen percent of all men in prison in the United States were abused as children and 36% of all women in prison were abused as children. (7) Children who experience child abuse & neglect are 59% more likely to be arrested as a juvenile, 28% more likely to be arrested as an adult, and 30% more likely to commit violent crimes. (8) Perhaps most tragically, about 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse. (7)

Royal Family KIDS is working to break the cycle of abuse in America. As a 501(c)(3) non-profit, is the nation’s leading network of camps for abused, neglected and abandoned children. By mobilizing local churches to sponsor a one-week camp for abused and neglected children ages 7-11 in their local community, RFKC gets caring adults involved in the lives of children who need them most. Each camp has two very simple goals: make positive childhood memories for the kids and let them experience unconditional love from an adult. Many volunteers who go to camp are inspired to become mentors, become foster parents and even adopt children who need a loving, caring family.

Right now, we have a unique opportunity in Topeka to assist in changing the life on foster children in our area. Roebuck Media’s ‘CAMP’ opened on April 5, 2013 at the Hollywood 14 theatres. “CAMP” is a Fish-out-of-water story about investment advisor Ken Matthews (Michael Mattera), who volunteers to go to camp to impress a client, but finds himself paired with an angry, troubled 10 year-old camper named Eli (Miles Elliot, “The Mentalist”).

“The movie shares the story of hope on the big screen that camps provide to these forgotten children,” said writer/director Jacob Roebuck, who thought of the idea for the script when volunteering at a Royal Family Kids camp. (10) Founded by Orange County natives Wayne and Diane Tesch over 25 years ago, Royal Family Kids is now a network of over 150 churches across the country that provides camps, clubs and mentorship programs for abused and neglected kids. (10)

So what can you do? Go see ‘CAMP’ the creators and producer have committed that 40% of the profits from the showing here in Topeka will go to assist the locally run Topeka Royal Family KIDS camp. Keep in mind that this week-long camp costs the state, foster parents or children nothing to attend. This movie was just extended for another week run and starting Friday, April 12th the show times are daily at 1:25p and 6:40p.


TOPEKA FOSTER MOM

------------------------
1. Child Welfare Information Gateway. Available online at http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/foster.cfm

2. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children's Bureau. (2011). Child Maltreatment 2010. Available from http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/index.htm#can.

3. Child Help http://www.childhelp.org/pages/statistics

4. Foster Care Alumni of America
http://www.fostercarealumni.org/resources/foster_care_facts_and_statistics.htm

5. Reilly, T. (00). Transition from care: Status and outcomes of youth who age out of foster care. Child Welfare, 82(6), 77-76.

6. American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/child_abuse_the_hidden_bruises

7. Harlow, C. U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs. (1999).Prior abuse reported by inmates and probationers (NCJ 172879) Retrieved from http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/pub/pdf/parip.pdf

8. Long - Term Consequences of Child Abuse and Neglect. Child Welfare Information Gateway.Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2006.

9. Kansas Department for Chhildren and Famlies. (3/15/13) FY 2013 Romovals, Discharges and Out of Home Summary (FACTS) http://www.dcf.ks.gov/services/PPS/Documents/FY2013DataReports/FACTSRemovalsDischargesOOHSFY13.pdf

10.  Burbank Premiere Release.  www.thecampmovie.com

 

It's for the kids....

Here is a harsh reality:

Imagine for a moment:  It is bedtime...or you are being told...you are not so sure if it is, it may be...but these people you met today, how can you trust them.  They say this is a safe house....but your not sure. What makes it different from all the others???  These people are grown-ups....you are sure that they will turn out like all the others.....
Wait a minute, something here is already different....they want to pray with you....pray for you.  Maybe, just maybe God did hear your cries....maybe you have been beat for the last time....no more drugs in your life.....no more abuse....maybe.....



Now, I know foster care isn't for everyone.  Maybe you feel too old, maybe you are afraid of all the stories of foster kids stealing, lying, running away....  But maybe you can love a little....
Maybe you can help at camp for one week....
Or maybe you aren't even  ready for that....
Please go see Camp....  A portion of the proceeds will stay locally to help send foster kids to camp at Royal Family Kids Camp.  Foster kids attend for a week...no charge.  No fee to the state, no fee to the foster family....NONE!  It is paid for by the camp, volunteers, and local churches.

This may be the only Jesus some kids get to see.....

Be a part of it..... It's for the kids!

Blog Party...

 This is rather timely as Iron Man is going to his first friend birthday party today.  I have realized how out of practice I am....(You can read how said child has only lived with me for 5 1/2 months...and in my defense my bio-child was homeschooled so we didn't do all these class parties!) I had the invitation on the frig to call birthday boy's mom to RSVP...but she also send a group email - which I get on my iPhone.  AH life is so easy these days...so Yes, I will RSVP via email.  Not knowing what birthday boy likes because he is in Iron Man's class at school.  Furthermore....I know they will have cake, but not sure that Iron Man will eat lunch today or not.  hmmm.....oops, parenting party fail.


Well, all is not lost because here's my chance to party and so can you.  I am joining up on this blog party thanks to my "new friend" Jessie over at Then I Laughed, and she's right: Everyone loves a good party.  So take 5 minutes and join in!

No visit...

Well, after court yesterday...I didn't really expect there to be a visit with bio-mom today.  BUT I guess I did hold out hope.  Hope for her.  Hope that she might actually get out.....  Yes, I knew it wasn't really likely, but still......

(Her plan was to use the 1/2 paycheck that she was due today and hope a family member would pay the rest so she could get out.....and then she had to contact her worker before noon.)

I really want to be a better witness to her.  I do pray for her.  I pray for these kids too.  It breaks my heart....  Yes, my heart breaks for them and her...

This is one example of why:

Today I went to pick up Little Bit and he was so excited to see me.... Well, actually he wasn't.  He was rather disappointed that I was there so early (I wasn't....he just thought his day was half over because he was having so much fun today since school was out).  But once he realized that and I asked about his day he proceeded to say:

"The best part was 'NO VISIT WITH MOM'"

ouch.

ouch.

ouch.....

How do you handle that???  I'd love to hear what you do.  This hasn't changed much.  They actually never wanted to go on the day-long visits...and I guess I didn't blame them since she never rarely fed them.  

Permanency Hearing.....Round 1

Today was the first permanency hearing for Iron Man and Little Bit.  I say first because, as this system goes, "best interest of the child" is somewhat gray....ok VERY GRAY!  So, these two (along with 2 younger siblings) have been in care now for a year.  Which in itself is not the odd.  BUT, theirs was supposed to be a 90-day reintegration plan. You see, they came into care due to not being properly cared for.  They were often hungry & not fed....and apparently the house they were living in had like 20 dogs (or more) living and defecating in the home.

SO, here we are a year later....mom has just recently obtained a job (more on that later), completed anger management & parenting classes, but doesn't have a place to live.  Oh, but it gets better....really....

Bio-mom has often fallen off the radar for a couple weeks at a time, and last week missed her meeting with her caseworker. (no call, no show) At court we sat....and sat...no bio-mom around...and when we finally got into the court room: We find out she is in the county jail.  (ah, there goes that job....since she's been in jail a week :-/  so much for income.)  Back to the hallway we go so we can all wait for her to be transported to court.  I suppose, lucky for her she was in state custody because she would have missed this otherwise (Yes, I am fairly certain...as she was a no show at court 6 weeks ago.)

Anyway, when we finally get this hearing underway....her attorney actually had the gumption to tell the judge "Your honor, Bio-Mom has been doing great and she is doing everything she needs to be."
(UMM, I had to stop myself...REALLY????  Am I the only one noticing her lovely orange outfit with the fabulous silver jewelry on her wrists and ankles????)  The two fathers for these kids aren't much better.  One is in jail and looks like 8 years this trip....(he's serving 3 concurrent sentences.)  and the other fired his attorney a year ago so that he could represent himself....and has never been back.

Well, thankfully the children's attorney spoke for them and asked for the state to move to adoption as a plan for the kiddos as there has been NO movement forward on this case.  (6 weeks ago with her no-show, and lack of feeding the kids on 8hr visits, and lack of carseat/seat belt usage...the court ordered supervised visits)..... So nope, only backward motion here.

Thank you judge....as you did at least move to concurrent planning with reunification as the primary goal and adoption as secondary.

I know in my heart this is a no win situation....but these kids deserve better....

The positive to the day:  I had a great chance to talk with one of the other foster parents.  I am really glad that kiddo 3....Butterfly is doing so well.  When the boys moved with me, they had asked me to take butterfly too...but right now I don't have a bedroom for her.  We all agree the children would do wonderfully together....and God-willing I'd love to be able to give them that home.

Please pray.  Pray for bio-mom.  She really needs to decide that her children should be first.  Not the drugs & alcohol.  Not the boyfriends.  Not the parties or playing.  Pray for the kids.  That they may know they are loved.  They are wanted. Pray for me & my house!

Time change...and bed times

OK. This friggin' time change is going to be the death of me...maybe not so much the time change as the two little blessings that are in my house right now!!!  UGH!!!  I have tried to explain to them (EVERY SINGLE NIGHT) that the time is 7:15-30...and it is bedtime...just like always. AND it is bedtime.  But, heck they don't understand it, can't tell time, and can not grasp why do we have to go to bed when it is still morning time!!!!

Now, please keep in mind....this is a 6 year old and a 8 year old.....

OBVIOUSLY this is just another point that they were left to run on their own devices in bio home...and the prior foster home wasn't any better with the parenting skills!

GEE, Can anyone tell me how many days until the time falls back???

(And, yes, I have mini blinds on the window along with a room darkening curtain....and have now told them the time will not change until after Halloween...so cover your head with a blanket if you must....but IT. IS. BEDTIME.)

Goodnight.