Knuckle Down

Now if you knew what was coming....good for you! I can remember going to my grandparents' house when I was a kid and my grandfather had a TON of marbles. We would always play.

My kiddo got marbles last year (he started his collection on our Texas vacation).... And finally today I looked up the rules so we could play.

A little bit of string and painters tape....voila 

Of course playing a game with FASD kids is so frustrating to me.... The concrete black and white thinking causes them to think they have to always be in the same spot!!! And honestly I know they probably won't ever "get it" ....thus this competitive momma has to change.

Ugh, this journey is certainly reminding me how The Refiners fire changes us for the better. 

Thanksgiving

So I began my day of cooking with homemade cinnamon rolls.... As they were baking... Got the turkey into the oven. And then....

Breakfast was ready and dinner was in the oven.

Then I decided to do a little project.  I have had the supplies for almost the last week.... 

I had each kid in the house put their  hand-prints on here and turned them into turkeys.... (They each picked out the color they wanted in the store... So this is bright).... Then we each listed 8 thing we are thankful for this year.  (FYI: The giant hearts were added over my photo to block out the kids name due to privacy issues...they aren't really on my table runner.)

I know you are curious as to what we each listed, right?
Iron Man:
1. Trees (because they give us air to breathe)
2. Food
3. Toys
4. Teachers
5. Mom
6. Dad
7. School
8. Clothes

Little Bit:
1. My sister
2. Momma (He clarified this as "you"...as to make a point he was talking about me not bio-mom)
3. Iron Man
4. Our dog
5. Our cat
6. Friends
7. Toys
8. Teachers

Li'l Miss:
1. Munchkin
2. Our house
3. YOU Momma!
4. Our dog
5. Little Bit
6. Iron Man
7. School
8. Toys

Momma:
1. Boog
2. Iron Man
3. Little Bit
4. Li'l Miss
5. God
6. Friends
7. Our house
8. My job  (Yes, it is good to be able to pay the bills!)

Dinner & A Movie

We had such a great evening tonight! I had the honor of having my friend and 11 of her kids over for a "picnic" dinner and a movie.  I know most people would assume 14 children and two moms to supervise might be crazy hectic.... But here's proof:

It was lots of fun!  And as I am typing this, I realized this is Allison's life everyday.  There are 14 children in my living room..... Such blessings from the Lord.  I am honored to have this family as my friends!!

We had summer sausage, cheese, crackers, fruit, veggies, chips, and popcorn.... and watched TURBO.  The kids had fun.  My three had brought down blankets, pillows, and beanbag chairs, all to have lots of space so their friends could be comfy.

As an extra treat I made chocolate cake. The recipe for "Wonder Cake" has been around my family for years.  The great thing is there is no dairy product in this. (Perfectly safe for her kiddo with allergies.) and last night I decided to make a small one with gluten free flour for her and her kiddos with gluten issues.  She loved it, the kids all loved it. And I got to share the recipe too. And before I share with you, I have to share this comical exchange that took place while I was dishing cake. 

ME: I have gluten free cake too, but I don't think you (older kids) want that.

KID 1: (In his 5yo accent) I want gwooten fwee cake

ME: ok I will bring you some

KID 2: Momma I want some good and sweet cake too!

God I love kids!! And yes, I told Allison... You realize that's blog-able! She gave me permission.... And said she might link to it (Check her blog out at SchummExplosion if you haven't yet!)

And I think she may have done better at tellin the story.... But in any case, you got mine.  Now I'm going to finish watching my dog on clean-up duty! (He's in heaven!) 

Here's the Wonder Cake:

WONDER CAKE RECIPE

Single recipe in 8” square pan (my gluten free one was a little flatter b/c I baked it in a 9"square...Allison said it was brownie-ish...of course some of that might have been the kids jumping around last night while it was baking too!  LOL!)

1 ½  cups  flour

1 cup sugar

3 Tablespoons cocoa

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

Sift all into pan and level off. Make 3 dents. In first, put 6 tablespoons salad oil, in 2^nd dent put 1 teaspoon vinegar. In 3^rd dent put 1 teaspoon vanilla.

Pour 1 cup of water over all and stir with fork till lumps are gone.

Bake 35 minutes in 350 oven.

Can be doubled and baked in 13x9 pan.

Christmas Joy....and pain

So I have been sitting in my bed this morning cruising the internet Pinterest.  I really love Christmas.  Last year was two of my boys' first Christmas with me.  OH MY, did they get to see what Christmas can (and should in my humble opinion) be.  They have already begun the excitement of being able to share the joy with their sister.

Christmas is really a time to remember the gift God gave each of us by sending His son.  What a gift. The Lord sacrifices and our sins forgiven.....now there's the JOY! We can have a restored relationship with our heavenly father because of the sacrifice of Christ.

I have been trying to come up with some great crafts to do together. Which for this crafty-type really isn't much of a challenge.....frankly I think I just overloaded all my Pinterest followers as I think I repinned a hundred things.  You see I can paint, use power tools,  hot glue, glitter, Photoshop, a sewing machine, and a gazillion other things.  And if I haven't done it...I'm not afraid to try it!!  So this morning's quick look-see turned into an hour and a half and lots of early coffee!!    But I had to stop.  Not because I ran out of room, time, or desire to search for more.  But because my heart began to ache.

You see, one of the things I was wanting to do with the kids is a craft for their mom.  In the world of foster care and (open) adoption, it is good to allow the children to maintain these connections.  I want them to be able to give their mom something.  I have come up with a plethora of ideas: picture book, framed photo, Christmas ornament, hand or thumb print crafts, and the list goes on, and on, and on, and on, and........   OK so you get the point.  My dilemma is this: Mom is living in her car.  She had been living in her car for the better part of this year.  So, I am not sure what to make.  I want it to be small enough that she will be able to keep it with her if she chooses and durable so it won't get easily crushed.

Now, the rest of my heart ache comes from knowing that in all the joy of the season....just like many days; it brings my children sadness, pain, unresolved trauma, hurt, fear, unlabeled emotions, all squished in with their happiness and joy.

The journey of foster care is not an easy one.  Not for us parents and not for the children....not for anyone. No matter the role.  I am sure God, even though "He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will” (Ephesians 1:5) has to walk through heart-ache and pain....as His children are hurting.

Getting to know me.....just a little

OK, So I ran across this cool "Kansas Women Bloggers"and I thought I'd join in....


1.  If you make money with your blog, how do you do it?
Nope....don't make any money at this.  I probably never will....I don't really consider myself a "writer" - just use this as an outlet.

2.  How do you increase your blog readership?
I post some on Pinterest and Facebook.... I am still working on this.

3. If you aren’t originally from Kansas, what brought you here?
I am not originally from Kansas...family brought me here....but it has always been home more than where I am from.  I have lived in states.

4. If you are from Kansas, have you ever lived elsewhere?
See above...LOL
 
5. If someone were to hand you $10,000 (no strings attached), what would you do with it?
First I would tithe on it.  Then, invest.  Really not too much.

6. Who was the first blogger you ever really followed?
The first blog I began to regularly follow (about 6-7 years ago) was by Angie Smith it was then called "Bring the Rain" and it was a healing outlet for her after her daughter's terminal diagnosis in utero.  I won't ruin it. She is blogging...go read the story...but have a box of kleenex nearby.  She is the reason why I began to blog my journey.

7.  What’s your favorite pair of shoes?
Mostly none.  But I hate being cold....so in the winter, anything warm and comfy!

Read more at http://kansaswomenbloggers.com/2013/11/19/getting-to-know-you-a-link-party/#A8mDhEqB5doJBfVQ.99

Project Belong

Recently I have had the chance to learn more about Project Belong through a couple events, a great friend, and talking with the co-founder Brandon Hoffman.  I have been feeling God pull me more and more into the area of ministry during the past year.  I can't even explain how awesome this will be when it opens.  But here is the information on the GoFundMe site:

Project Belong, a ministry that recruits, trains, and supports foster and adoptive parents within the faith community in Kansas, is currently hosting a Capital Funding Campaign to raise the necessary funds for the purchase and updating of the Henderson House Inn and for the construction of a multipurpose facility to house Project Belong’s corporate offices and meeting and conference facilities.

Currently, the Inn is a public lodging facility providing accommodations to those visiting the Stafford, Kansas area. The facility is host to meetings and events for community organizations and individuals. Upon completion, the facility will have the capacity for meetings up to 180 in attendance. It will be available for reservations for family reunions, wedding receptions, and more.

Often, foster and adoptive families may find themselves in a situation of needing additional support through a crisis or needing to connect with other foster and adoptive families for fellowship, networking and building support systems.
The vision for a retreat and conference center operated by the ministry of Project Belong would offer a central location for meeting this need of foster and adoptive families. This would be achieved through retreats, conferences and aiding families in crisis with emergency or planned stays at the center. Services can be offered to support the family such as pastoral and Christian counseling, intensive support, peer counseling from other foster or adoptive families, and support from agency partners.
A program is being developed to use a portion of the facility for a transitional living training program for youth aging out of foster care (ages 18-21). In this program, a small number of youth will be selected to live in the facility, receive training for work experience, budgeting, spiritual counsel, and more. This training and experience will provide the youth with a foundation for successfully entering adulthood.
Any donation amount will help bring us closer to making this a reality.

This is truly an excellent way to help meet God's command that we help care for the orphans.  Many say they aren't called to foster or adopt....and to that I say support those who do! And this will be awesome for SO MANY families!!

Go Pray...and check out this site:

http://www.gofundme.com/ProjectBelongRetreat

LIghtbulb....

Ok, so we have all had those "lightbulb" moments, right??  I had one of my own today.  Of course not the first one....but just another one of many.

You see recently (about 6 weeks ago) I received a diagnosis for Iron Man.  When this came back, I have to admit I was surprised.  Surprised, not at the fact that he was alcohol affected in utero, but at the severity of his FASD.  I was very certain that his diagnosis was going to come back with a FAE - or effect..... but, not full-blown FAS.  Well, I was wrong.

I have thought I was somewhat knowledgable in FASD until now.  I knew alot of basics.  However there has been more and more research in this area and I am enjoying learning more each day.  However today, while crusing around on Facebook, I read this post by Jeff Noble over at https://www.facebook.com/fetalalcoholforever:

A person living with Fetal Alcohol's brain is like that light bulb in your house with a short in it. Sometimes it works perfectly and shines all day, other days it flickers on and off. Then there are those days when no matter what you do the light is not coming on.
Realizing this might be the case for your loved ones will allow you to react with appropriate interventions and save you a boat load of stress.(hopefully)

OH! <ping>.......Oh, wow.....

I think I will let you sit on that for a moment.....

NOW, I can't even to begin to express the frustration that a parent or a teacher has in the moment when you KNOW that kiddo is perfectly capable of DOING the task at hand....come on they have done it a bazillion times....yet the look you get....  AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  Those of you that are living with this will get me.  In fact, I sent that post to my daughter's teacher today. and her words were.... "OH, yes! That describes her perfectly!!!"  She went on to thank me for the info...which I am glad to provide.

Now, Lord, please grant me the patience to remember my children are living with an incurable developmental disability....a traumatic brain injury that had lifelong lasting effects....and they will probably not be able to function without supervision until they are 30 years old....give me the ability to discern the flickering days from the 100-watt-ers and to eliminate my frustration by imagining what their daily frustration must be like.

My Melted Heart

So tonight was a late night because it was the last night of this round of PS-MAPP....it is wonderful to "graduate" another capable class of future foster parents, adoptive parents, and child advocates.  But at the end while wrapping up, my kiddos were writing on the white boards..... When I turned around to see, "____, you are the best mom in the world"

You know, I am not perfect. I screw up....probably daily...and have to ask for forgiveness for my shortcomings. I have to beg for grace and mercy from God (usually with a side order of patience).   ;) But the truth of the matter is.....I matter.  These kids matter.  I never felt this inadequate with my bio-kiddo. Thanks Iron Man....I needed that.  And the whipped cream and cherry on top came when the other two followed his lead....and then Iron Man wrote "I love you". He is not the one to usually offer  up any love or affection..... Thanks son.  I love you too.

Christmas in July

CHRISTMAS IN JULY!

Ok, so maybe it isn't really that early...but it feels really early to be putting up Christmas decorations to me!  Perhaps it is because traditionally I do this the weekend AFTER Thanksgiving...  Why do I do it then?

Have you ever heard this:

A young woman was preparing a ham dinner. After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking.

Her friend asked her,"Why did you cut off the end of the ham"?

And she replied ,"I really don't know but my mother always did, so I thought you were supposed to."

Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut off the end of the ham before baking it, and her mother replied, "I really don't know, but that's the way my mom always did it."

A few weeks later while visiting her grandmother, the young woman asked, "Grandma, why is it that you cut off the end of a ham before you bake it?"

Her grandmother replied, "Well dear, otherwise it would never fit into my baking pan."

So, yes truthfully, I have always waited until the weekend after Thanksgiving to decorate because my mother did.  I am not sure why she did....other than I am pretty sure my dad didn't want to live in Christmas too long.

I generally wait to take everything down too.....just to enjoy it.  So I decided we will go ahead and put it up early this year.  Last year was two of my boys' "first" Christmas.  They were in awe of everything that was Christmas....and so when they began asking....I just decided "WHY NOT!"  As it is, I now have their little sister here and I know that they are SO excited to share everything they have experienced this past year with her.  

.....and.....Honestly, I can't think of a better way to bring Christ into our new home then by beginning to prepare for his birth.

Marathon Strong Willed Child

Yes, I have decided....SORRY. MOM. FOR. ALL.THE. A-GRA-VATION!  You could say I was a stubborn child. Growing up, if I was told a couldn't do something....I would prove you wrong.  (ability may not have been the issue...permission and obedience were more like it)  At least, that's how I remember it.....OH, who the heck am I kidding??  I'm still that way!  Tell me not to do something; my response will be "WHY?"  Or if you were to tell me I couldn't do something....I will set out to prove you wrong.....

NOW, I have decided Dobson should have written a book. See, I now have a wonderful blessing in my home.  She is cute, funny, charismatic, strong-willed, determined, and may put "strong-willed" into another category of "push-over"!!!  At 5 years old, Li'l Miss is going to give me a run for my money.

As I sit here waiting for her to be ready to do her 5 minute time out....I really have to chuckle.  She has spent nearly an hour chanting "I want to get in my bed"..... what, you may ask, would cause this??  Well, she wasted alot of time disobeying at school, refusing to do her work....so Teacher and I have an agreement.....  "If school time is wasted, she gets to do it here at home."  (Yes, I am a M.O.M.  - mean ol' mom)

So...anyway back to my chorus of worship music and a background line of "I waaaaaaaaaaaaaanna get in mmmmmmmy beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeddddddddddddd"

She has a great balance of determination and stick-to-it-ness..... as long as it isn't something she doesn't want to do.  If it is something she doesn't want to do, suddenly "I can't" & "it's too hard" get stuck on repeat!!!

Well, I guess I can start the 5 minute timer, now. (after an hour and 15 minutes of craziness....)  Is it bad that I suggested we keep howling to call the coyotes???

Yes, that got her quiet.

Oh, my dear sweet marathon-strong-willed-child, I love you dearly....and I know this skill you developed was instinct and survival....now to polish it into the right areas.

Adoption Myths

So my friend, Allison, over at Schumm Explosion and I have been spendin loads of time together lately because we teach PS-MAPP together. And I am truly blessed to have her as my friend!! I love her family....walking into her home is a big snuggle-fest by the little!!

Anyway, we worked on "debunking" 20 popular myths of state adoptions.  I could post it all here... But you would miss out on so much of her great stuff..... So go to "State Adoption Myths Debunked" to read it!