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Wednesday, June 18, 2014

If you are pregnant don’t drink….If you drink, don’t get pregnant.



Last night I had the honor of presenting a great training on FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder)…yes I am slightly biased because I wrote the entire 2-hour program…and did the presentation.  I have done hours of research after having my three foster children diagnosed with full-blown FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome).  The statistics out there are quite alarming.  Really. It is sickening.  I feel for those birth mothers who honestly think it is safe because there are doctors STILL saying its ok to drink….a glass or two of wine a week.
 
Let me put this to rest for you.  Alcohol is a teratogen.  The Greek meaning is “monster forming”…. Yes, it comes from the Greek τέρας teras (genitive τέρατος teratos), meaning 'monster'.   I want to point out alcohol is not the only teratogen out there…others include varicella virus (Chickenpox), tobacco, Accutane, HIV, thalidomide, DES (diethylstilbestrol), radiation, lead, rubella, toxoplasmosis, most illicit drugs, and many other things.
 
Today, research shows that 1 in 13 women drink while pregnant.  There are two categories of women really.  Those that do this unwittingly; and those that don’t care.  Again I do feel for those that drink without knowing they are pregnant and my heart breaks even more for those who under the poor advice of their doctor feel that it is safe.  I am angry that even today with all the known results of children growing up with FAS, that doctors still refuse to properly educate their patients.  I am even angrier at those birth mothers that are too involved in their own addictions and life to care to stop.  Stop drinking.  Stop the drugs.  Get help if needed.  Do what you can to protect that baby.  Nine months really isn’t that long in the scheme of his or her life!
 
Society really has been quite oblivious to the struggles and the outcome of alcohol use during pregnancy and its devastating results.  Maybe it is because some teratogens are benign until they build to “threshold concentration” levels….but each woman is different, every metabolism works differently so there is no way to pinpoint a safe level.  And honestly….we don’t want to live in a culture that would purposefully do this type of testing on a human baby anyway...do we?!
 
So this is what I did to help drive my point home.  In my opening statements, I talked about alcohol and how it is a teratogen.  I then shared the safest way to represent our little baby is with the chicken egg.  I cracked two eggs into glass bowls, and then poured 190-proof grain alcohol onto the egg.  (YES, I know this is stronger that the average alcohol served in most drinks….but I only had 2 hours to make my point.) The audience gasped as the egg instantly turned white and began “to cook.”  (See above graphic.)

We do so much to advocate for visible syndromes and birth defects like Downs and spina bifida.  There are 6,000 babies born in the US each year with Downs Syndrome and over 30,000 born with FAS…but yet it stays hidden, unknown, untalked about, and largely undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. Why is this?  The dangers of drinking while pregnant are not new.  In fact, there was a reference made around 1350 BC, I dare say the first reference,  Now see to it that you drink no wine or other fermented drink … You will become pregnant and have a son…” (Judges 13:4, 5)

We need to spread the word: If you are pregnant don’t drink….If you drink, don’t get pregnant.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Tough Kids Wear Pink

Today I am proud of my kiddo!  A notice was sent home last Friday/this Monday that today was "Pink Out Day" in honor & support of one of the teachers.  When I began to explain what his was and that they wanted all the kids to wear pink, Iron Man instantly went into 'rebel-mode'....funny thing thi teacher is one of his teachers....he goes to her 4x a week!

So I decided I'd design a graphic that could go onto a white t-shirt....as to not cause a FASD meltdown of Chernobyl proportions. And so....here it is:
  

I thought it was cool looking.  Well I also showed the kids a couple other shirts last  night...one said "Real Men Wear Pink" and suddenly it was COOL!  

So while running some errands I went to Michael's and bought 3 pink shirts... Printed and ironed on these....



I like it.... Would've done a few things different if I KNEW it was going to be on a pink shirt.....

Thursday, April 3, 2014

The Roller-Coaster Ride Called Foster Care


Photo: HeraldSun.com.au
Wow, I really can't believe it have been just over a month since I last posted.  I have a few issues...the first being that as a single mom with three foster kids: I am tired.  WOW!  Seriously.  They go to bed at 7-7:15....and I am in bed by 7:16!  HAHA  Ok, maybe not...but close.  Most days are great...but there are many when I am just emotionally drained.

Today is one of those days!  Really.  We had Pooh here a couple weekends ago for an over-nighter...and IT. Was. Awesome.  Seriously. These kids are better behaved when the baby (toddler) is here.  I am shocked every time.  And that Sunday morning...all three boys "snuck" down around 7:30am!  I usually have to 'make' the two oldest stay in bed until 7 on the weekends!! OH, GLORY!!!!!

This past weekend, we actually had Pooh Friday- Sunday.  And it was beyond fabulous.  The kids love each other and life couldn't have been better...well except if he had already moved in with us!!

Today, the high came crashing down.  Apparently, the agency is requesting the state split these siblings....because "they have already been separated for an extended amount of time." WHAT?? Really?  So because they have lived apart for the last 23 months, someone has decided these kids can handle the lifetime of loss and trauma.  OH MY!

Research clearly shows that these children do much better when they are placed together as a sibling group.  It is hard to find families that are willing to adopt 3, or 4 or 5....or more...children together.  I have stated for the past year (After the Guardian Ad Litem asked me if I would consider adopting all four IF it came to that point....) that I would adopt all four children....and I have been asking for this boy to move in with us....with his brothers for the past 18 months.

Today is one of those hard days.  My heart aches for them.  They have already known and experienced more than any child should.  Parental rights are in the process of being terminated....and yet...someone, in some office, that does NOT KNOW MY KIDS....is willing to make such a drastic decision that will affect them forever!!

This, we must stand against.  It is appalling to me that with all the advances made in the area of child welfare we still allow this to continue. (For those of you that may now know: The first child abuse case in the US was brought to the courts by the ASPCA!  REALLY.)  We haven't made it very far in some ways.  You don't believe me?  Check here for a brief History of Child Welfare in the US.

Then please, pray & advocate for these children.  We must take a stand!  God commands us to care for the orphan.... James 1:27 can not be any plainer....."Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."  RIGHT THERE.....we MUST care for the orphans in their distress.  What is more distressing than the loss of your parents.....and then being torn from your siblings.

Here are some resources:
10 Myths of Sibling Adoption
Sibling Issues in Foster Care
Keeping Siblings Together Past Present and Future
Sibling Bonds & Separation
Alarm Sounded over Separating Siblings in Foster Care
Separating Siblings - The Liz Library
Sibling Ties

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Dear Foster/(soon-to-be) Adoptive Mom



Dear Foster/(soon-to-be) Adoptive Mother,


Wow!  First I want to say,  “Thank you.”  I know it isn’t easy to love with every bit of your being with the little piece of doubt that creeps into your mind whispering, “What if?...”  Just sit back for a moment, take a deep breath and remember why you began this journey.  God knew what He was doing as He knit you, your story and that of your child, and just how it would all fit together; your strengths and her needs; your life experiences and his loss; your pain and their joy. And vise-versa.


Remember when you said “YES”…remember when your heart first began to melt.  You may have only had a 2-3 sentence introduction, not knowing the color of his eyes, the way her hair curls over her eyes, the dimples that now explode when he sees you.  You didn’t know any of it.  All you knew is that you prayed for the child(ren) that God knew belonged in your home.


Remember when you first met. Remember the scared little one that was so unsure if you were “safe.”  Remember how she ran right to you and called you “Mommy” because boundaries were never taught in her past because there were people in and out by the hour.  Remember how she was so tiny you thought she was ½ the age the paperwork said.  Remember the wide-eye wonder as you got to share that first play-day at the park.


And when you sit in the storms of life remember God’s promise that came with the rainbow.  When your 10 year-old had an ‘accident’ because…..he really doesn’t know why...Remember that in that moment he was just a scared little boy that was threaten if he dared to leave his room to use the restroom.  Or she wet the bed because if she got up in the middle of the night it would wake him up and bring on the unrelenting abuse and ”icky-touching”….but she forgot this place is safe.


Oh, I know how hard it is that your daughter doesn’t even know who her biological family is but she has to go on that visit anyway.  I know it isn’t fair but her case manager say ‘they have no choice.’  When your ‘gut’ tells you something is not right, remember to fight.  Fight for her.  You are her voice.  You may be in parental limbo right now and she may never know how you loved and protected her when the system wouldn’t.  Or couldn’t.


Now, Mom, you need to find someone to confide in.  Talk to that other adoptive mom that has been there.  Don’t fall into the trap that you are alone.  This journey often leaves each of us feeling alone.  I think that is Satan’s plan.  He doesn’t want these children to succeed.  He doesn’t want the church to rescue them from his grip.  Remember the” thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” (John 10:10). But you can offer Hope and the Redeemer.  It will be a bumpy road but you can do it with God’s strength and guidance.


The other reason why you need that confidant is that God call us all into relationship; Relationship with each other and with Him.  There will be times you need encouragement and times you can be the encourager.  Matthew 18:5 tells us, “Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.”  And then later in chapter 25 verse 40 states,  And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.  You see, we are following after God’s heart and although it won’t always be easy it will be worth it if you are faithful.


Go and plan the future.  Even when the future seems so uncertain: plan.  Plan the next family vacation.  It may be the first time they have packed a suitcase.  Plan the celebration of the upcoming birthday because it is likely they never celebrated their special day.  They day they were born may have been forgotten or cursed before.  Plan to build an igloo in the snow and teach him to make a snowball.  Teach her how to roll a giant snowman body.  Give them the chance to play in the ocean, dig for worms, go fishing at the lake, make homemade ice cream, lay in the dark and stargaze, make memories.


What if, you ask?  What if they go home?  Well hopefully it is to a home of restored relationships.  It will be to a parent that has learned to love and care for this gift from God.  How will you heal, you wonder?  Now that answer, is easy to say, but just like living the day to day….it is not always easy to do.  Pray.  You will pray.  Pray that the parents have patience and understanding with this precious child.  And today, pray.  Pray for you; to have insight and understanding; to listen to the words said and unsaid; to turn to Him first; to act in love, mercy and grace.   That God may always hold this precious child in the palm of His hand and keep him safe.  There really is no guarantee, each child born to this earth is God’s and it is His job to ultimately protect them.  No matter how the child joins our home and family they are God’s and we are just privileged enough to ‘babysit’ them for this season.  Love them, guide them, teach them, pray for them, cherish them for today, tomorrow, for weeks, for months, for the years, or a lifetime.


So my sweet friend, as you transition from foster mom to adoptive mom, know that you are loved.  Your friends are here for you.  God is here for you. You are here for those children. The days are not always easy but there is always at least one blessing even in the midst of the storm.  And just like Esther, What if… Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”(Esther 4:14)


Have a Blessed Day (yes, even in the mess)!


Your Friend and Sister in Christ





Friday, February 14, 2014

A Valentine's Day Wish for All My Children


A Valentine’s Day wish for my children:

Boog, it has been 2 ½ years since I have held you and hugged you. Oh, to be able to snuggle with you, my mini-me, and whisper “I love you more than….” I miss you. I miss your overpowering smile that would light up the room, your “David Beckham hair,” your dimples, your creativeness, imagination, your love for music, and your tender heart. I miss our butterfly kisses. Not a day goes by that I don’t shed a tear for you. Your pain. My dear sweet son:
 “I’ll love you forever, 
I’ll like you for always, 
as long as I’m living 
my baby you’ll be.” 
It is because of you, and in honor of you that I have more than one little sweet-heart this Valentine’s Day. Life without you has made me learn and live out Proverbs 3:5; “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” As well as, 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18, “…pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks...” 


Baby Girl, You were in my home only 2 days….I tried to have them let you stay. It was necessary for you to move closer to your ‘home county’…but I now pray for you every day. I know you are growing and I hope you are safe, happy, and healthy. My wish for you this Valentine’s Day is Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God knows the plans He has for you. May you learn to turn your ear and heart toward Him so that you may follow Him and be blessed. 


Iron Man, Wow, you have come a long way. You were so stoic when you moved in. And only wanted “lovin’s” if it was on your terms and in the form of tickling. Now you ask for your hugs and kisses each night if you think I might have “forgot.” I love the personality you are developing. You are the best 9-year-old I know. You are athletic and fun. You have a smile that causes your eyes to disappear. You love to play games and I know once you really get the hang of it and understand why your siblings follow everything you do, you are going to be a wonderful big brother because, for the most part, you already are! I love to watch you play basketball you have learned so much about it already. The verse I have been praying for you in Psalm 31. I pray that you will learn to take refuge in the Lord as He is your rock and fortress. Trust in Him and learn to love the Lord with all your heart. I love you. 


Little Bit, My dear sweet 7-year-old ball of energy. Sometimes I think that you could be the energizer bunny! I am so excited to see how, you too, have grown and blossomed into a sweet boy since you have moved in. You went from such an angry, scared, and withdrawn little boy to the bubbling, chirping, happy-go-lucky, energy filled intelligent first-grader you are today. You love to read and I love to watch you figure out the words like a puzzle set before you. You have wonderful expressions of joy and have learned that life has many emotions. You are a snuggle-bug and are slowing learning to take risks. You remind me of a little boy named David. He faced his fear knowing that the Lord was with him and defeated Goliath. My prayer for you is that you will learn to trust in the Lord and know that you are safe for “the battle is the LORD’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.” (1 Samuel 17:47) I love you.



Lil’ Miss, My, Oh, My…what can I say. Never in my life did I imagine that God would give me a girl just like me to parent! You have only been with us a short time but it has been a blessing. You are lovable and sweet and are a wonderful helper. You have a laugh that is contagious; you are learning and growing each day. I think you are coming to love school. You are strong-willed and very spirited. I know that in the short time you have lived with me, this was a needed survival skill you have used immensely the first 4 years of your life. I pray that as I get to know you more and more, I will get to see you grow and bloom. I want to be an example for you and teach you what it truly means to be a Proverbs 31 woman. My dear sweet child you need to know you have “worth far more than rubies” (Proverbs 31:10). I love you.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Heartache, Life, and Death

 ****DISCLAIMER*****       There is some graphic and disturbing information and graphics below.  I want to warn you, if you have suffered the loss of a child, there may be trigger points...please feel free to hit the back button on your browser.  



My heart has been aching today due to the decision that our supreme court handing down 41 years ago.  Just in case you are completely unaware, it was the Roe vs. Wade case that brought about a “woman’s right to choice.”   I think one of the reasons behind my sadness is a long to hold my son again.  I cannot imagine not having him.  It has been nearly 2.5 years since I last held my dear son in my arms.  I find many days I can close my eyes and hear his sweet giggle, his silly playful attitude, and see his big blue eyes and dimpled face.  Life is so special.

Proverbs 22: 22-23 says, “Do not rob the poor because he is poor, or crush those who suffer at the gate. 23 For the Lord will stand by them and help them, and take the life of those who rob them.” (NLV)

The Message translation puts it this way, “Don’t walk on the poor just because they’re poor,
and don’t use your position to crush the weak, Because God will come to their defense; the life you took, he’ll take from you and give back to them.”

According to the CDC, in 2010 7665,651legal induced abortions were reported (in 49 locations…not counting illegal & non reported ones also performed.) and the ratio at which they were performed is astounding to me: 228 abortions per 1,000 live births.  What has our nation become that we now devalue life so much?

“Don’t use your position to crush the weak.”


This past year illegal abortions and the horrendous deaths that these children suffer were brought to our nation’s attention due to the “house of horror” clinic run by Kermit Gosnell in Philadelphia.  What this man did was reprehensible.  Not only did he take advantage of and rob the poor, he mutilated – not only crushed- the weak babies.  Here is a medical diagram showing similar procedures. EXCEPT this so called doctor would partially deliver the baby and snip his/her brain stem & in around 100 cases he actually delivered the baby (staff saw/heard the living child) and then he snipped the spinal cord.


“Don’t use your position to crush the weak.”
 
 We have become a society that looks at convenience rather that what is right.  Hitler had nothing compared to the numbers of babies that our society is allowing to be murdered daily. DAILY.  OH, that makes my stomach just churn.  We must stand up for these children.

Maybe this infuriates me becuase I know the pain of a miscarriage. Personally.  I also have watched friends go through the loss of children.  It doesn't matter if this loss happens 6 weeks, 13 weeks, or 30 weeks....the pain and heartache is there.  Everyday.  Yes, joy can be found....but there are those moments when you wonder. "What would he have looked like?" "Is she playing in heaven with Grandpa?"

We must make a stand.  Protect those that cannot speak yet.

 “Don’t use your position to crush the weak.”




Going back to Proverbs, we are also told, ..."the Lord will stand by them and help them, and take the life of those who rob them."  I really like how The Message says, "God will come to their defense; the life you took, he’ll take from you and give back to them.”  

Several months ago I saw the story about abortion survivors.  One of which is Gianna Jessen.  You see, she survived what was supposed to be a late term abortion.  She is one of many survivors speaking out.  Her 17 year-old biological mother was counseled to had saline solution pumped into her uterus to allow the delivery of a dead baby.  Feel free to listen to her:


 You see, God can use want was meant for evil to do great things.  He can take a life and turn it around. Gianna said once in an interview, "A person and God always have the opportunity to progress. No matter what point you are at, you can always do something, even if it is just the tiniest thing."


Melissa Ohden is another survivor traveling and speaking out these horrible legal murders.  You see, she too was supposed to be killed by saline at about 7 months gestation.  Here she writes A Letter From An Abortion Survivor to Her Unborn Baby and it is amazing.  She shares the abortion holocaust has amounted to over 56 million lives lost! 56 million. In my opinion, that is small compared to the actual numbers....because that doesn't account for all the illegal & unknown deaths that I am sure have taken place.

I'm sure many will be offended by the term holocaust....but this is what it is.  Would you stand idly by if someone was bulldozing hundreds, thousands, or millions into giant grave pits. I would hope not.  THEN, why....WHY,....WHY do we allow this to continue.Something I read today said "If we pronounce death at the last beat of a heart....why, then do we not pronounce life at the FIRST beat of the heart.?"


 Don’t walk on the poor just because they’re poor,and 
don’t use your position to crush the weak, Because God will come to their defense; 
 the life you took, he’ll take from you and give back to them.”  Proverbs 22:22-23 (THE MESSAGE)




Sunday, January 19, 2014

Marijuana, no big deal?



I know we are supposed to respect our leaders, but really?!?  Hard to respect the person....I have seen some dumb statements. Really dumb.  But have you seen this?  0bama: Marijuana no more dangerous than alcohol

As I read this, some of his quotes are beyond dumb:

"As has been well documented, I smoked pot as a kid, and I view it as a bad habit and a vice, not very different from the cigarettes that I smoked as a young person up through a big chunk of my adult life. I don't think it is more dangerous than alcohol"

Smoking marijuana is "not something I encourage, and I've told my daughters I think it's a bad idea, a waste of time, not very healthy,"

I really have to wonder why our world is going. Well, no, I don't have to wonder. It is the end times. Revelation tells us:
13 Then the sixth angel sounded: And I heard a voice from the four horns of the golden altar which is before God, 14 saying to the sixth angel who had the trumpet, “Release the four angels who are bound at the great river Euphrates.” 15 So the four angels, who had been prepared for the hour and day and month and year, were released to kill a third of mankind. 16 Now the number of the army of the horsemen was two hundred million; I heard the number of them. 17 And thus I saw the horses in the vision: those who sat on them had breastplates of fiery red, hyacinth blue, and sulfur yellow; and the heads of the horses were like the heads of lions; and out of their mouths came fire, smoke, and brimstone. 18 By these three plagues a third of mankind was killed—by the fire and the smoke and the brimstone which came out of their mouths. 19 For their power[a] is in their mouth and in their tails; for their tails are like serpents, having heads; and with them they do harm.
20 But the rest of mankind, who were not killed by these plagues, did not repent of the works of their hands, that they should not worship demons, and idols of gold, silver, brass, stone, and wood, which can neither see nor hear nor walk. 21 And they did not repent of their murders or their sorceries[b] or their sexual immorality or their thefts.

In verse 21, sorceries is actually referring to drugs.  It is the actually Greek word for pharmacy, Pharmakeia.  So its no wonder that this world is normalizing so many things that are sin, and nothing but.

That passage of scripture really lays out where we are as a world.  We must repent from our ways.  Jesus is coming soon. I feel like I could go on and on. By no means am I faultless....I am a sinner too.  I have made some poor choices in my life.  Grace is what has saved me. 

While on the topic of repentance, please feel free to take a moment and check out this "test"....please feel free to see if you are a good person.  Good Person Test

See, when we compare ourselves to the world's standards we can come out looking pretty 'good'.....but in reality, we are going to be judges by God's law.  We all have fallen short.  But God provided His son, Jesus to pay the price. He is a gracious God.

People get ready, Jesus is coming soon.

Friday, January 17, 2014

START

Over at Kansas Women Bloggers the "word of the month" is START.  Such a simple word really we all know it, right?  So I turned to my internet dictionary for a little definition.  First off, I never would have guessed that it would take up a scroll across my entire backyard....but here is that "little definition"...but seriously you should read it.  Ok, go top off your coffee first. I can wait a moment. (would you bring me one too....Peppermint mocha, please). 
Ok, Now, go ahead....read:

1start

verb \ˈstärt\
: to do the first part of something : to begin doing something
: to begin to work on, produce, or give attention to (something)
: to cause (something) to begin : to cause (something) to begin in a specified way

Full Definition of START

intransitive verb
1
a :  to move suddenly and violently :  spring <started angrily to his feet>
b :  to react with a sudden brief involuntary movement <started when a shot rang out>
2
a :  to issue with sudden force <blood starting from the wound>
b :  to come into being, activity, or operation <when does the movie start> <the rain started up again>
3
:  to protrude or seem to protrude <eyes starting from their sockets>
4
:  to become loosened or forced out of place <one of the planks has started>
5
a :  to begin a course or journey <started toward the door> <just starting out>
b :  to range from a specified initial point <the rates start at $10>
6
:  to begin an activity or undertaking; especially :  to begin work
7
:  to be a participant in a game or contest; especially :  to be in the starting lineup
transitive verb
1
:  to cause to leave a place of concealment :  flush <start a rabbit>
2
archaic :  startle, alarm
3
:  to bring up for consideration or discussion
4
:  to bring into being <start a rumor>
5
:  to cause to become loosened or displaced
6
:  to begin the use of <start a fresh loaf of bread>
7
a :  to cause to move, act, or operate <start the motor>
b :  to cause to enter a game or contest; especially :  to put in the starting lineup
c :  to care for or train during the early stages of growth and development <started plants> <a well-started coonhound>
8
:  to do or experience the first stages or actions of <started studying music at the age of five>
start something also start anything
:  to make trouble <always trying to start something> <don't start anything>
to start with
1
:  at the beginning :  initially
2
:  in any event

Examples of START

  1. They started clearing land for the new housing development.
  2. He started studying music at the age of five.
  3. As soon as you're ready to play, we'll start.
  4. Let's start with some warm-up exercises.
  5. He deleted what he wrote and started fresh.
  6. Olympic athletes start young and train hard.
  7. I started the quilt last month.
  8. Have you started your book report?
  9. We started the meeting at 6:30.
  10. She started the meeting with a brief review of the previous meeting.

Origin of START

Middle English sterten; akin to Middle High German sterzen to stand up stiffly, move quickly
First Known Use: 14th century

Related to START

Rhymes with START

2start

noun
: the time at which something begins
: the first part of an activity, development, event, etc.
: the first opportunity to begin a career

Full Definition of START

1
a :  a sudden involuntary bodily movement or reaction <woke with a start>
b :  a brief and sudden action or movement
c :  a sudden capricious impulse or outburst
2
:  a beginning of movement, activity, or development <a false start> <housing starts>
3
4
:  a place of beginning
5
:  the act or an instance of being a competitor in a race or a member of a starting lineup in a game <undefeated in six startsCurrent Biography>

Examples of START

  1. <knew from the start of the game that he would win easily>

First Known Use of START

14th century

START

abbreviation

Definition of START

strategic arms reduction talks 
 
 
 
WOW!  REALLY??  So what does that mean for me.  Well, January is a time for resolutions....but not for me.  You see I never keep at it.  So no point in even starting one.  But I do think it is a time to reflect on last year and start being intentional for this upcoming year.  Am I where I think God would have me be? Nope.  Got work to do here..... Lots. Of. Work.
 
We do have a beginning going on here within our family.  Little Bit started school in our "home school"  He had worked so hard and had the desire to be here....and not bussed to the school across town with the SPED program.  I am so happy for him.  He is SO smart.  He is about a year ahead on his reading!! WOO-HOO!! And his behavior is more like a typical 1st grader......
 
Another "start"....I have GOT to start building a better parenting toolbox.  Each day I realized my typical skills will not....well 90% of the time....work on my FASD brain-injured children.  I have to start to think through life differently.  Saves them frustration..saves me frustration...and we are a happier bunch!! 
 
On a final note...one other thing that struck me is the last definition "strategic arms reduction talks"....We have so many strategic talks around here....I think perhaps I might have more success in negotiations to reduce arms.....but oh well..... 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Single Parent Foster Care

I always like "meeting" others in/on the adventure called foster care...or foster-to-adoption....or adoption.  I am always even more interested when I find another singleton that has decided (for wahtever reason) to jump on this journey.

I like to read about your joys, struggles, concerns, celebrations, and everyday life.  I love to see how my kiddos and your say and do the silliest things.  Yes, it helps me not go crazy.  

So today, as I help kiddos with homework and reading, I thought I would look for some single foster parents blogs......

                      .....looking.......


                                    ......searching........


                                                             .................search another phrase...........


                                               .................and................search another phrase...........



     .................and search ........yet.............another phrase...........


REALLY???

I am really disappointed.  I found a few and it seems that they were all abandoned after 3 or 4...maybe 6 entries.  SAD.  I wonder why that is.

Anyone have any ideas?  Is is the discouragement of noone reading?  Is it the business of being a single parent??  (Believe me I understand that!  I was a single mom of one before this adventure....and now I have added three!)  We need each other. For support, encouragement, fellowship, ideas, a listening ear, a sounding board, laughter, and ....so much more.




Saturday, January 11, 2014

Candace Cameron Bure's "S-WORD"



OK, So I have to admit....I love Candace Cameron Bure! Not because she played "DJ" on 'Full House'....although she was awesome in that role. You see it goes so much beyond that. 


Almost three years ago, I have the privilege of seeing her speak at a church. And then had the opportunity to meet her. She was awesome. She actually sat to meet everyone that wanted to wait in line. She was kind and compassionate to my son (Who HAD to buy a t shirt that says "My favorite DJ is D.J. Tanner") spoke with him, encouraged him and signed his shirt & my book. At that time she was speaking at various places sharing her testimony and publicizing her book "Reshaping It All".


 Currently she is on a press tour for her new book "Balancing It All"My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose (and I CAN'T WAIT to read it!)...Dont we all try exactly that.: Be everything, to everybody, everywhere as we balance all of our various roles, responsibilities and opportunities. Candace promises to not give a step-by-step or how to rather one example of how it can be.   During a recent interview she used THE s-word.....yeah, the awful, awful, word: submissive! I mean can you believe that! HA...what an outrage. Right? Um.....


So in case you missed it, here it is:





So many take an issue with the fact that she allows her husband to be the leader in the home.  She clarifies well here by stating, on HuffPost Live, "The definition I'm using with the word 'submissive' is the biblical definition of that. So, it is meekness, it is not weakness. It is strength under control, it is bridled strength."

I totally applaud her.  There is MORE strength in submitting to one's husband that not. Oh, and just to show how week she is NOT...check out this little snap shot she posted on her Facebook page! 

She has also explained, "First Peter 3:1 says, 'In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.'"

"It is very difficult to have two heads of authority," she told HuffPost Live. "It doesn't work in military, it doesn't work -- I mean, you have one president, you know what I'm saying?"

She is absolutely correct.  Some people that understand animals will also know...you can't have two bulls in the same pen!  Candace also states that her husband values and respects her opinions. 

I suppose that those that are not in Christ will not see that her husband is not a tyrant.  The live in partnership.  However, she submits to him, he to Christ, and Christ submitted to the Father on the cross.  If we had more biblical example living in the world, our world would not be in such CHAOS!  We need to go back to the basics.

I am, however, a realist and I know that during these end times it is only going to get worse as Christian speak of our faith and how we live.  SO, Candace, AMEN SISTER!!! Keep preaching truth in all you do! 

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

God Made Me This Mom


Well, I have been scouring everything looking for all types of resources to help me become a better parent.  I thought I really was a good parent.  My bio son & I were a dynamic duo... really.  Let me assure you NOTHING has prepared me for parenting three children newly diagnosed with full FASD.

Well, I will say, My friend Jessie over at "Then I Laughed" wrote and share this AWESOME post this morning "God Made Me This Mom"....I love Jessie and her honesty.  She shared this wonderful nugget:
“You have the exact qualities God knew your kids would need in a mother. So, each day, hold up your willingness and ask God to make you the best version of you that you can possibly be.” Lysa TerKeurst

Yes, I do follow Lysa TerKeurst via Facebook and Twitter.  I have been involved with Leading & Loving It, a ministry for women in ministry and pastor's wives for several years now.  I adore Lysa and she always gives timely wisdom.

So I guess, God prepared me.  He knew what type of struggles these kids would have.  He knew that they would need me to fight for them to even be diagnosed.  They need someone to allow them to grow and believe in them and encourage them....because THEY CAN DO IT!

God knew that they would need someone that understands loss. Someone that can be strong. Someone that will help them with the transition from foster care to adoption. Someone to help them see what family is suppose to be.  Someone to help them know love.  And someone to help them know HIM!

So, yeah, I have been prepared.  Thanks God.  Thank you for preparing me when I didn't even know it.  I am ready.  Here I am.

So, now, back to my research.  This awesome book ALL_ABOUT_ME.pdf was shared in one of my Facebook groups....it is one of the best resources yet!! Check it out if you have a FASD or other special needs child.  It is easily personalized so you can give it to everyone involved in your child's care.




....and no, I don't have it all together! That is where God and His unending Grace come in!!