Gains and Losses

As a PS-MAPP instructor, I have the privilege to teach others about the losses and gains as well as the gains and losses our kiddos face.  This weekend was one of those real life moments for our family.  Yesterday Iron Man & Little Bit's sister Lil' Miss moved in.

I hadn't told the boys that this was happening (I didn't want them to be disappointed if if didn't happen for one reason or another) even though I knew that she was coming Thursday afternoon. So Friday I made all the arrangements to get here rolled in school and the before/after school program.  We have been slowly prepping her room....so that has basically been done since finishing the upstairs of the house.

But I need to share what transpired.  For you to gain insight into how  these kids think and feel...and for them in the future to know they are all loved. Saturday morning when we arrived to pick up Li'l Miss, her foster mom came out to help moved things into our car.

Iron Man noticed all the bags and said "hey, cool you're bringing some stuff with you."

ME: Do you know why she's bringing stuff with her?

IRON MAN: .....sleepover?

ME: We'll, yeah but...more like a permanent sleepover.

IRON MAN: (Total confused look on his face-I am still negotiating and learning how his FAS brain processes information) What do you mean?

ME: She's moving with us.

IRON MAN: (Complete with a fist in the air) YES!!!  What about Munchkin?

(Munchkin is their 2yo baby brother who is also in foster care....but placed with his paternal grandparents)

My heart broke....  It broke for these three kids that have each other, but don't have everything. They are missing the 4th spoke in the wheel that has for so long functioned together....even if wobbly and floppy like a flat tire. It broke for the family that will most likely never live together because bio-mom can't give up the drug addiction. It broke in fear that if the worker gets the sibling split they want....most likely these three children will suffer the huge loss of the baby brother they are already struggling to hold onto. It broke for all of them...and on some level, me....because there isn't anything I wouldn't do to allow them the opportunity to all live together. Here.  

.....and then I prayed.  I prayed as I hugged Li'l Miss's foster mom. She held back tears. I reassured her, we will keep the connection.  I prayed for strength to parent these three children. I prayed for the words of encouragement to give them when they miss Munchkin.  I prayed for strength to fight for them. For them to have the fair opportunity to live together in one family....it's not their fault they have different fathers....why should they suffer more loss.

And then we drove home.  And the squeals of joy of bringing home their sister drowned out a small portion of sadness and sorrow.

And then I prayed a quick prayer of thanksgiving.....Thanks Lord for allowing me the privilege to babysit these blessings and raise these children to know you.