It's for the kids....

Here is a harsh reality:

Imagine for a moment:  It is bedtime...or you are being told...you are not so sure if it is, it may be...but these people you met today, how can you trust them.  They say this is a safe house....but your not sure. What makes it different from all the others???  These people are grown-ups....you are sure that they will turn out like all the others.....
Wait a minute, something here is already different....they want to pray with you....pray for you.  Maybe, just maybe God did hear your cries....maybe you have been beat for the last time....no more drugs in your life.....no more abuse....maybe.....



Now, I know foster care isn't for everyone.  Maybe you feel too old, maybe you are afraid of all the stories of foster kids stealing, lying, running away....  But maybe you can love a little....
Maybe you can help at camp for one week....
Or maybe you aren't even  ready for that....
Please go see Camp....  A portion of the proceeds will stay locally to help send foster kids to camp at Royal Family Kids Camp.  Foster kids attend for a week...no charge.  No fee to the state, no fee to the foster family....NONE!  It is paid for by the camp, volunteers, and local churches.

This may be the only Jesus some kids get to see.....

Be a part of it..... It's for the kids!

Blog Party...

 This is rather timely as Iron Man is going to his first friend birthday party today.  I have realized how out of practice I am....(You can read how said child has only lived with me for 5 1/2 months...and in my defense my bio-child was homeschooled so we didn't do all these class parties!) I had the invitation on the frig to call birthday boy's mom to RSVP...but she also send a group email - which I get on my iPhone.  AH life is so easy these days...so Yes, I will RSVP via email.  Not knowing what birthday boy likes because he is in Iron Man's class at school.  Furthermore....I know they will have cake, but not sure that Iron Man will eat lunch today or not.  hmmm.....oops, parenting party fail.


Well, all is not lost because here's my chance to party and so can you.  I am joining up on this blog party thanks to my "new friend" Jessie over at Then I Laughed, and she's right: Everyone loves a good party.  So take 5 minutes and join in!

No visit...

Well, after court yesterday...I didn't really expect there to be a visit with bio-mom today.  BUT I guess I did hold out hope.  Hope for her.  Hope that she might actually get out.....  Yes, I knew it wasn't really likely, but still......

(Her plan was to use the 1/2 paycheck that she was due today and hope a family member would pay the rest so she could get out.....and then she had to contact her worker before noon.)

I really want to be a better witness to her.  I do pray for her.  I pray for these kids too.  It breaks my heart....  Yes, my heart breaks for them and her...

This is one example of why:

Today I went to pick up Little Bit and he was so excited to see me.... Well, actually he wasn't.  He was rather disappointed that I was there so early (I wasn't....he just thought his day was half over because he was having so much fun today since school was out).  But once he realized that and I asked about his day he proceeded to say:

"The best part was 'NO VISIT WITH MOM'"

ouch.

ouch.

ouch.....

How do you handle that???  I'd love to hear what you do.  This hasn't changed much.  They actually never wanted to go on the day-long visits...and I guess I didn't blame them since she never rarely fed them.  

Permanency Hearing.....Round 1

Today was the first permanency hearing for Iron Man and Little Bit.  I say first because, as this system goes, "best interest of the child" is somewhat gray....ok VERY GRAY!  So, these two (along with 2 younger siblings) have been in care now for a year.  Which in itself is not the odd.  BUT, theirs was supposed to be a 90-day reintegration plan. You see, they came into care due to not being properly cared for.  They were often hungry & not fed....and apparently the house they were living in had like 20 dogs (or more) living and defecating in the home.

SO, here we are a year later....mom has just recently obtained a job (more on that later), completed anger management & parenting classes, but doesn't have a place to live.  Oh, but it gets better....really....

Bio-mom has often fallen off the radar for a couple weeks at a time, and last week missed her meeting with her caseworker. (no call, no show) At court we sat....and sat...no bio-mom around...and when we finally got into the court room: We find out she is in the county jail.  (ah, there goes that job....since she's been in jail a week :-/  so much for income.)  Back to the hallway we go so we can all wait for her to be transported to court.  I suppose, lucky for her she was in state custody because she would have missed this otherwise (Yes, I am fairly certain...as she was a no show at court 6 weeks ago.)

Anyway, when we finally get this hearing underway....her attorney actually had the gumption to tell the judge "Your honor, Bio-Mom has been doing great and she is doing everything she needs to be."
(UMM, I had to stop myself...REALLY????  Am I the only one noticing her lovely orange outfit with the fabulous silver jewelry on her wrists and ankles????)  The two fathers for these kids aren't much better.  One is in jail and looks like 8 years this trip....(he's serving 3 concurrent sentences.)  and the other fired his attorney a year ago so that he could represent himself....and has never been back.

Well, thankfully the children's attorney spoke for them and asked for the state to move to adoption as a plan for the kiddos as there has been NO movement forward on this case.  (6 weeks ago with her no-show, and lack of feeding the kids on 8hr visits, and lack of carseat/seat belt usage...the court ordered supervised visits)..... So nope, only backward motion here.

Thank you judge....as you did at least move to concurrent planning with reunification as the primary goal and adoption as secondary.

I know in my heart this is a no win situation....but these kids deserve better....

The positive to the day:  I had a great chance to talk with one of the other foster parents.  I am really glad that kiddo 3....Butterfly is doing so well.  When the boys moved with me, they had asked me to take butterfly too...but right now I don't have a bedroom for her.  We all agree the children would do wonderfully together....and God-willing I'd love to be able to give them that home.

Please pray.  Pray for bio-mom.  She really needs to decide that her children should be first.  Not the drugs & alcohol.  Not the boyfriends.  Not the parties or playing.  Pray for the kids.  That they may know they are loved.  They are wanted. Pray for me & my house!

Time change...and bed times

OK. This friggin' time change is going to be the death of me...maybe not so much the time change as the two little blessings that are in my house right now!!!  UGH!!!  I have tried to explain to them (EVERY SINGLE NIGHT) that the time is 7:15-30...and it is bedtime...just like always. AND it is bedtime.  But, heck they don't understand it, can't tell time, and can not grasp why do we have to go to bed when it is still morning time!!!!

Now, please keep in mind....this is a 6 year old and a 8 year old.....

OBVIOUSLY this is just another point that they were left to run on their own devices in bio home...and the prior foster home wasn't any better with the parenting skills!

GEE, Can anyone tell me how many days until the time falls back???

(And, yes, I have mini blinds on the window along with a room darkening curtain....and have now told them the time will not change until after Halloween...so cover your head with a blanket if you must....but IT. IS. BEDTIME.)

Goodnight.

The Blessing.....

OK, So I am sitting here getting ready to go to bed but first I need to absorb the happenings of the night. But first a little background so you understand (I guess you might be reading...whoever you are...LOL....reminds me, feel free to comment!)

Iron Man is typically stand-off-ish about affection.  Not that he won't accept it but is reserved about getting/giving hugs...although with me he is better (he's sorta at that "it might not be COOL" stage boys sometimes reach)....anyway....prime example of this being due to his bio-home environment:  At his last visit bio-mom was yelling at him as they came out of the visit "GET OVER HERE NOW AND GIVE ME A HUG!!!"  To which Iron Man replied, "No, I don't like hugs."  (At that point, who could blame him...and nope he never did get close enough to her to allow it or any touch.)

Our nightly routine consists of me spending time in each of the boys' beds.  During which I do prayers (usually done as a group because they have to beat each other to blessing my family members or they take turns listing them off with their siblings....its cute) and then when I get up to move to the next bed, they each get a "secret" (This is usually words of affirmation and a personalized Blessing...thanks to the small group study done a while back!)

There have been several occasions when Iron Man doesn't want his hugs or kisses during this time...and I usually do it in a less 'personally invasive' playful way.  I know, I know....I really am getting to the good stuff...  The other day he started with "I don't want a secret".  To which I replied, "Thats fine....but I am still going to pray a special blessing for you."

ANYWAY...YES HERE IT COMES>>>>>>

Tonight was my night to start in Iron Man's bed. He was laying upside down in his bed...and so I just decided to lay where the pillow normally is.  (fully expecting him not wanting loves, snuggles, secrets, etc.)  HAHA, just when you think you figure them.....
So he surprised me! To which the following took place:

Iron Man: Hey, what are you doing?

ME: Laying down

Iron Man: But I'm down here

ME: True but your pillow is usually here....

Iron Man: (Moment of thought) Hmm, well, fine...I'm coming up there.

(PLOPPING HIMSELF RIGHT AGAINST ME AND LAYING DOWN WITH HIS HEAD ON MY SHOULDER IN THE CROOK OF MY ARM HE SNUGGLED IN)

Iron Man: OK time for my blessing.



END OF DAY PRAYER: Thank you Jesus.  I am SO thankful that you have given me these bonus children to watch over.  I thank you for using me to bless them, teach them, and show them how life can, and should be, for them.  I pray that you will continue to use me.  I pray that when I am about to embark into a "not-so-stellar parenting moment" you will give me pause so that I may show humility and grace along with a large portion of love, not my frustrations.  God I pray that you will continue to always shine upon each of us and strengthen and guide us through the storms. AMEN

Dolphins, Turtles, Birds, and Jellyfish...oh my..

Our day was going to start with a boat ride...but t was too foggy and the company offered us an afternoon trip instead.  SO, we decided to visit the Sea Turtle hospital first.  It was amazing what they have been doing for conservation, rehabilitation, and education there.

Allison swimming with her prosthetic.  

Here's Iron Man and Little Bit keep ing post for the dolphins....they had such a blast!  This was the one thing we didn't do over winter break that they REALLY wanted to do....go on a boat ride...so the dolphins were icing on the cake!!

After all of that...hey why not top it off with some relaxation on the beach!! RIGHT!  God blessed us with some awesome oceans and I am of the belief everyone should enjoy the beauty at some point!  Usually there are a few small shells along the shoreline but today there were several Man O'War washed up. I just thought this was absolutely beautiful!!  Hope you agree.  (Thanks Steve Jobs for my great camera on this iPhone 4S!)  

Man O' War aren't really a jellyfish....