Kisses From Katie and a Lesson From Jacob

This morning was a difficult one. One of hard memories and broken hearts.  Well, specifically my broken heart.  I began rereading my friend Katie's blog.  I say friend but actually she is a sister in Christ that lives halfway around the world in Uganda.

I first cam across Katie in October 2011.  I saw a video about her story and ministry called Amazima Ministries.  As luck God would have it, she was speaking the following day for her last US speaking engagement for the year.  Knowing that I could in no way make the Sunday morning services she was speaking at because I was on staff at a church at the time, I knew I would be making the 1 1/2 drive for the evening service at David Platt's church,  The Church at Brook Hills.

And to further show how God sets divine appointments....I had read David Platt's book "Radical" just a few months before.  During that growing time of my live, God dealt with me.  I never really write notes into books I read...this one is littered with notes, prayers, and challenges.  Specifically, I remember writing; "What would my life look like - and what would this city & country look like - if we said YES to God and lived radically for Jesus?"

Many, many things have happened in my life since that time and I will share them at some point - but today is not yet the time.

Anyway, back to today, as I sit reading through Katie Davis' blog, Kisses From Katie, I have bee reminded of the reason I am where I am.  I just cam across this entry; teenagers and a lesson from Jacob. As i was reading, I was reminded again how God commands us to care for the widows and orphans.  That is why I do what I do.  Adoption and foster care is God's heart....and it must be in our hearts.  Adoption and foster care are each a blessing.  Adoption and foster care are hard.  There are moments when everyone hurts.  Children are thankful for the safety and security...the food and love.  But this all comes with a price.  There is loss.  There are hurts.  Little bit snuggles up and loves on me calling me Momma and Mommy and in less than 24 hours can spew hatred and make me want to pull my hair out.

But I know love is what is needed.  More specifically His LOVE is needed. Commanded.  Katie, in this post refers to Genesis Chapter 33. Esau and Jacob are meeting for the first time in a long time. As Jacob approaches Esau, with his many children following close behind, Esau asks, “ And who are these with you?”

Jacob’s reply: “These are the children that the Lord saw fit to bless me with.”

Yes, these are the children that the Lord saw fit to bless me with.  My number 2 & 3 sons.  You have captured my heart.  I love you.  

As I finished reading this particular post, I scrolled up to go to the next post....yes, I really was re-reading the ENTIRE blog beginning to end.  Not because I haven't read it....but because I needed the reminder of the transformation God can do in and through us when we are just willing to say "YES"....

Anyway...this particular entry was posted on August 2, 2010.  My dear sweet #1 son's birthday.  And it is because of him I am where I am along this journey.  And it is he, who God asked me to willing give to Him just over 2 years ago.  Oh it broke my heart to utter that "yes" unto Him...and I'm sure if I knew what that "YES" would've meant, I am sure my stubborn human self would not have willingly said yes....but without it....I may not be where I am today....and yet, I do not even know where I am going!